Together
by The Deadly Nadder
Summary: During the Dragon Training Final, Hiccup tries to tame a Monstrous Nightmare in front of the entire village. However, an unexpected event (different from the one in the movie) disrupts everything: the relationship between Hiccup and his father, but also between Hiccup and Astrid...
1. Loneliness

_**So here's a fanfic for you guys, to wait until HTTYD 2 comes out... I may update it quite regurlarly since it's a translation (I originally write in French ^^), the chapters are already written.**_

_**It takes place in HTTYD 1, and it starts during the dragon training final. I know this chapter may surprise some of you, but wait for the next ones before you judge my fic. Oh and there will be several Hiccstrid scenes, not in that chapter, but already in the next one.**_

_**A big thank you to **_**cashewkitty**_**, my beta reader, who took the time to correct my rough English.**_

_**Reviews are welcome :) **_

* * *

**I. Loneliness**

Trapped. I was trapped between that Monstrous Nightmare's claws. He looked at me ferociously, ready to strike. I curled up, hoping it would be fast. I should have never wanted to change things. Vikings were too stubborn to understand, and dragons remained wild animals. I was about to pay the price of it.

Then I heard it. That kind of whistling, typical of the filtering of gas in the jaw of a Night Fury. Followed by an explosion.

Toothless.

A thick cloud of dust spread into the arena. I was soon freed from the Monstrous Nightmare's claws, and moved back watching, terrified, the ferocious struggle which had started between him and Toothless. The two dragons were having a violent fight, whose winner would have the honor of deciding of my fate. I was looking at them, helpless, wondering why I had the talent of always putting myself in impossible situations. Toothless got the upper hand and stepped in between the Monstrous Nightmare and me, threatening. At that moment, I started to realize the terrible consequences of my dragon's loyalty. I suddenly became way more worried about him than about me, and ran towards him by the time the Monstrous Nightmare had definitely given up the fight.

"Toothless, go! Get out of here! " I begged while the whole village was coming in the arena brandishing axes, hammers and swords. "Go! GO!" I shouted even louder when I saw my father running towards us, axe in his hand. "No, Dad! Dad, he won't hurt you!" I yelled desperately.

Toothless rushed at him and pinned him to the ground, ready to strike. "Toothless, stop!" I tried to hold him. "No! NO! "

He stopped and looked at me with big eyes for just a couple of seconds, which were enough for the Vikings to react and pin him to the ground. I panicked, realizing I had just given him to enraged Vikings, dragon killers since the mists of time.

"Oh no, no, no! Please don't hurt him!" I cried out, desperate, while hAstrid came and held me. "Please don't hurt him." Toothless, immobilized, stopped struggling, and my father ordered: "Put it with the others." And then, speaking to Gobber: "Lock it up, I'll deal with it later."

* * *

"I should have known. I should have seen the signs…"

My father was furious. I absolutely had to explain it to him, try to make him understand… Or I might never see Toothless again. No, that was unthinkable. I couldn't lose him.

"Dad…"

"We had a deal!"

"I know… we did… but that… that was before I… Argh… It's all so messed up…"

"So everything in the ring… a trick?! A lie!"

"I screwed up, I… I should have told you before now, I just… Take this out on me, be mad at me, but please, just don't hurt Toothless."

"The dragon? That's what you're worried about? Not the people you almost killed?!"

"He was just protecting me! He's not dangerous!"

"They've killed hundreds of us!"

"And we've killed thousands of them! They defend themselves, that's all! They…"

"Stoick! "

Gobber was coming, running as fast as his wooden leg would allow.

"Stoick!"

My father turned round, and Gobber whispered something I couldn't hear. What was going on? Everything in my head was getting so confused, and I was more worried for Toothless than ever.

"Dad, what is it?" I asked, but he pushed me out of the way and left, closing the door. As always. He didn't listen to me. He never listened to me. I cursed myself for being so different, for not matching up with his dream of a perfect son. But I couldn't do anything about it. I was born that way, and whether he liked it or not, I would stay that way.

I held my head in my hands. Everything was so complicated, I had to find a way to make him understand what I had discovered, and fast. But how could I be sure that he would listen to me? And above all, that he would understand me? I was afraid of his reaction if I told him I had found the dragon's island. But on the other hand, I couldn't hide it from him.

And Toothless was still in their hands… It was a disaster. The more seconds that passed, the more I wondered how I would get out of this mess. How we would get out of this mess.

I absolutely had to force my father to listen to me. Determined, I moved forward and opened the heavy door. The two men immediately stopped talking, and stared at me with a serious look.

"What? What is happening, then?" I asked, even more worried. "Will you tell me why you're looking at me like that? And I want to see Toothless! Don't hurt him, leave him, he's not dangerous! Let him go, let me…"

"Hiccup! " my father cut me off. "Hiccup."

I froze. That tone… no, no. I felt a wave of panic growing inside me. Why was he talking to me with that tone and that… that look?

"What?" I asked again, nervous.

"The dragon," my father carried on. "Gobber tried to lock him, but he struggled, and…"

Oh my gods. Did he go away? I felt a bit of relief at this idea. He was certainly in a safe place, and I just had to go and find him later.

"He tried to kill Gobber…" my father continued.

So what? Gobber was well; he was standing there, in front of me.

"… who had to defend himself. Hiccup, the dragon is…"

No. I didn't want to hear that.

"Gobber killed him. The Night Fury is dead."

* * *

A stab. Right into the heart. Breath taken away. Pain. Intense pain. A cry. A desperate cry.

That's what this news caused me.

No.

No.

It was impossible. Not him, not Toothless! My dragon, my best friend! Dead!

My fault. It was my fault. He just wanted to protect me.

I felt a hole inside me. A big hole. Something had been broken. Something irreparable. A scar I would keep forever.

I couldn't feel anything anymore. Or rather, I could, but I felt so many things at the same time that I couldn't manage them.

Pain. Despair. Anger. Resentment. Bitterness. Loneliness. Powerlessness. Fury. Distress. Grief.

Everything was getting confused; I couldn't see anymore, I couldn't hear anymore; I just wanted to forget. Leave this world, escape, go far away.

Alone. Like I had always been. I didn't want to worry anybody anymore. Since my birth, I had only been an annoying, useless burden, for everyone. I had the talent of always messing things up, in any circumstance. And this time, I was paying the price for it. My dragon was paying the price for it.

Unfair. This was so unfair.

I felt weak. Incapable. Pathetic.

I closed my eyes, and let the despair grow inside me.

Alone.

I was alone.


	2. Idiots

_**Hi everyone! :)**_

_**Thank you so much for all the follows, favorites and reviews, I hope you'll like that chapter too.**_

_**A guest reviewer criticized the first person POV, so I just wanted to make this clear if other people don't really like it either: the point of view often changes in this fic, it can be Hiccup's, Astrid's or Stoick's (rarely Toothless'), and sometimes at the first person, sometimes at the third person. There's no particular order, just as I think it's the most interesting. Just so you know.**_

_**Also, I won't reply here the reviews talking about the fact that Toothless died, because it would be a spoiler. Just read and you'll see.**_

_**Thanks again to **_**cashewkitty**_**, my beta reader :)**_

* * *

**II. Idiots**

I opened my eyes. I didn't remember how I had arrived there, nor how long I had been there, but I was at home, lying on my bed. I felt tired, despondent by the last events. I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to think at all anymore.

I heard the stairs creak. My father was coming up. He pushed the door open and asked, "Hiccup? Are you asleep?"

I didn't answer. I was lying with my back to him, so I could pretend I was sleeping.

He waited for a few seconds, and then closed the door. The stairs creaked again.

I didn't want to see anybody, especially not my father. I knew I had disappointed him a lot, when he had thought his worries about me were finally over. I was afraid of his reaction, of which I had already had an idea right after the Monstrous Nightmare incident. What was he going to do about me? Before all that, he still had a small hope of seeing me changing, but now that he knew I had definitely abandoned the idea of killing a dragon, he should feel ashamed of that son who would never become a true Viking. Because according to him, a true Viking was a dragon killer. That was what I was, in a way. I had caused the death of one dragon. Mine.

My cheek suddenly tickled me. I touched it, and found my hand wet. I was crying. The tears had come without me even noticing. It didn't matter. I was already considered a weak-willed by everyone.

The only thing my father had seen in the arena was his son's refusal to kill a dragon. His son disowning his origins and his family. His son making him ashamed.

That wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to show him a new Hiccup, a Hiccup who had made a discovery which could change everything. But he couldn't see me that way. He refused to imagine I could disrupt centuries of tradition; he just wanted me to be a worthy heir, as strong and brave as he was.

He should certainly be relieved Toothless wasn't here anymore. He was stubborn, but not an idiot, he had understood there was a close link between him and me. And this link had frightened him.

Toothless.

I refused to realize. It was as if I wasn't here anymore either. As if my soul had gone with him.

I suddenly wanted to scream, to shout my pain to the world, and to my father; that I was able to carry great things out too, if only he had believed in me.

But nobody believed in me.

Someone knocked, downstairs. My father opened the door.

"Hello, is Hiccup here? I'd like… to see him."

That voice… It warmed my heart immediately. How had I managed to forget her?

Astrid.

"He's resting." my father answered. "He doesn't want to see anybody, but thanks for coming."

"Oh…" Astrid answered, sounding disappointed. "Well…"

"Goodbye."

"Yeah… Goodbye."

My father closed the door.

Hearing her voice had given me back a bit of energy. She was what I needed.

Stopping thinking, I stood up and went down. My father asked me where I intended to go, and I answered as curtly as he had to Astrid that I needed to get some air. Once out, I immediately located Astrid's figure, and ran toward her.

"Astrid!" I called.

She turned over and smiled. During one second, I forgot everything and only saw her smile. But then she looked behind me and his expression became alarmed.

"Come on, Hiccup. Let's go to my house."

I didn't have time to answer; she had already grabbed me by the arm to drag me to her house. I was about to ask her why she was so in a hurry, when I heard voices behind us.

"… the very first Night Fury! And that's our village which got the honor of killing it!"

"Stoick is organizing a feast to celebrate. Such a fearsome dragon shot down can only be a good thing!"

I was flabbergasted. I was absolutely incapable of moving or talking. If Astrid hadn't dragged me, I could have stayed there for hours, my look vacant and my heart full of anger.

* * *

I was vaguely aware of us arriving at Astrid's home, and of her leading me to her room. She sat me down on her bed and stood in front of me.

"How do you feel?" she asked.

All I could murmur was an "I… I'm good.", then I burst into sobs.

I couldn't help it; I knew everything would come out now. But why did it have to be in front of her? I was ashamed. I had finally caught her interest, I had managed to light that glint in her eyes the other night, a glint of wonder. And now, she probably thought that I wasn't worth it. Tough and brave as she was, I could hardly hate her for despising a boy like me.

I stood up and turned my back to her, to spare her that pathetic sight.

But she stood up too, grabbing my waist and firmly turned me back toward her.

"Look at me, Hiccup. I don't know what you're thinking at the moment, but you shouldn't be ashamed of anything, nor feel guilty."

I wanted to answer, but the words were stuck in my throat. My sobs had calmed down, but the tears were still flowing. She went on:

"I know you must feel destroyed… The… loss of your best friend, the anger of your father, and the village's pride to have killed…"

She fell silent when she saw my face.

"Thank you for summing that up, Astrid." I said bitterly.

I sighed, wiping away another tear. Yet she was right.

"Why couldn't I have killed that dragon when I found him in the woods?" I asked, more for myself than for her. "It would have been better for everyone. And it would be the same, in a way."

I felt a lump in my throat. No. I couldn't think like that. Yet it was the truth.

"Yep, the rest of us would've done it." Astrid answered. "So why didn't you?"

How could I answer to that?

"Why didn't you?" she repeated.

"I don't know." I finally answered. "I couldn't."

"That's not an answer."

Easy for her to say. I was desperate because of Toothless' disappearance, and I had to know why I hadn't killed him when I had the opportunity? What for?

"Why is this so important to you all of a sudden?" I asked.

"Because I want to remember what you say, right now."

Great. This really wasn't the time for that. The conversation was taking a turn I didn't like.

"I was a coward!" I said curtly. "I was weak! I wouldn't kill a dragon."

"You said wouldn't that time."

So what? She was really getting annoying. But, at least I had stopped crying.

"Whatever, I wouldn't!" I cried out. "Three hundred years, and I'm the first Viking who wouldn't kill a dragon."

I sighed. Did I really have to justify?

"The first one to ride one though…" she said more quietly. "So?"

OK, I was done, she had won.

"I wouldn't kill him because he looked as frightened as I was. I looked at him… and I saw myself."

I fell silent, begging for my answer to satisfy her. Apparently, it did. She didn't say anything anymore.

For a few minutes, we both kept silent, thinking about the conversation we just had. She spoke first:

"Hiccup… Thank you. I needed to know."

I turned back. The tears were coming again, despite my efforts to contain them. This conversation had reminded me of a series of memories… including my first flight with Astrid. A magical moment I would never be able to live again.

There we went, I was crying again. I felt Astrid coming toward me. She grabbed my shoulder and forced me to look at her. Her gaze immediately changed when she saw my wet eyes.

"Hiccup…"

"It's OK, Astrid, I'm fine."

"I just want to tell you one more thing, Hiccup, and you're going to listen to me. And believe me."

She had pronounced that last sentence with a firm and determined tone, almost brutal, which was totally like her. Maybe this was what I liked the most in her, this ability to keep her head held high in every circumstance. She seemed to have kind of a shell, which I tried to find the weaknesses. The tougher she was with me, the more I wanted to know what she was trying to hide under that. And most of the time, I liked even more what I found.

She was still looking at me straight in the eyes, her gaze was determined even though I could detect a slight weakness.

She was feeling apprehensive about what she was going to say.

"Hiccup, this isn't your fault. You… Everything that happens to you is so unfair…"

I felt in her tone that she wouldn't be able to say everything she wanted to say. She tried to continue, but her words broke.

"I wanted you to know… Come here."

She gave up her speech and drew me toward her. Surprised, I didn't do anything. She held me tight and put her head on my shoulder.

I couldn't tell why, but this hug brought another flood of tears. She tightened up her embrace, and I put my hands on her back. Her heat was incredibly comforting, and the situation only got worse. I reassured myself by thinking that I had cried so much that my tears would certainly dry up. But it lasted a long time. Several minutes, several hours, I didn't know. The only thing I was thinking about was my heart beating and the heat of her body against mine.

I wasn't alone anymore.

She was there for me, she came through for me, she was interested in me. She wanted to console me. I was probably a sorry sight, drowned in my own sorrow, and I would've preferred to avoid that pathetic scene. But she had aroused something inside me, she knew how to get out of me what I was trying to keep hidden.

That girl had a power over me.

Deep down, I knew that with enough persuasion, she could make me do what she wanted.

But it didn't scare me.

"Astrid…" I uttered. "I… I'm sorry. I didn't want you to see me like that."

She didn't answer. I waited a few seconds, and understood why she was staying silent when I felt a drop falling on my hand.

She was crying.

Astrid was crying.

Astrid, the warrior, the merciless Viking, braver than half of the boys in Berk.

I had unintentionally pierced her shell.

I suddenly felt… relieved. Reassured to feel my distress shared, even if I ignored the exact reason of her tears.

And then I realized that I had to do something. As well as she was here to comfort me, I had to show her I could do the same. I tried to put on a brave face, and got off of her. She was first reticent, but I forced her to look at me. Our eyes met. Hers were red and wet, and showed her sorrow better than anything else.

"I'm sorry." I murmured.

Pathetic. I was pathetic. I hadn't find anything better to say, so many feelings were going through me that I could hardly think.

"Don't be." she answered, trying to control her voice's trembling. "I…"

She turned back and dried her eyes. I heard her getting her breath back, and then she continued:

"If you need to talk, I'm here, Hiccup. I know… I know you're not feeling really good, so if you need anything, I can help you."

"That's very nice of you. You're the only one…"

No… She managed to swap roles. I was determined to know what she felt and why she cried, but she managed to change the subject. And once again, I was the weak one.

She turned over. She wasn't crying anymore, and she seemed to have found back some self-confidence.

"You know, Hiccup, it's not your fault you found yourself in this situation, with that Monstrous Nightmare. That's because of your father, among others. He didn't want to hear what you had to say, nor see what you had to show. It's because of all of us, we're stubborn and narrow-minded Vikings, we hardly accept that you're questioning our way of life."

I was listening to her, silent. I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to talk.

"You were so brave, Hiccup."

"I don't think so. Stupid would be more appropriate than brave."

I unintentionally spoke out loud. Astrid sighed and sat on my bed.

"If you were stupid, then I think the entire village is a bunch of idiots." she said.

I barely gave a slight smile.

"Which is the case anyway." she added.

I looked at her. Her expression suddenly changed.

"I mean, no, you weren't stupid at all. But the village is really a bunch of idiots."

She kept silent during a few seconds.

"Including me." she sighed, lying on her bed.

Touched, I approach her slowly and sat next to her. She didn't move. I leaned and whispered, "In fact, I think we make a fine pair of idiots."

She didn't answer, but I could guess a smile playing about her lips. I laid down next to her. She took my hand and put my arm around her waist.

I trembled. But not because of the cold.

We stayed like that for several long minutes, which became hours.

Hand in hand, tired, exhausted by the last events.

None of us wanted to break that perfect silence.

I was fine. I wasn't alone. She was with me.

Astrid.

I sat up gently and kissed her cheek. She had her eyes closed, and her breath was slow and regular. She was sleeping.

She was pretty. And she was with me.

I loved her.


	3. Love and hate

_**Hellooo :)**_

_**I was supposed to wait a bit more, but... Here's the next chapter. It directly follows the previous one. Romance again, before we talk about other things in the next one.**_

_**Thanks to the followers/favoriters, and to the reviewers, Angryhenry, SheWolfTitianium, FulltHrottle3639, Hiccup and Astrid, and a Guest. Again, I won't reply to your complains about Toothless' death. **_

_**I still thank cashewkitty for her help.**_

* * *

**III. Love and hate**

The two teenagers were sleeping peacefully, in each other's arms. In only one day, they had survived so many testing events that they didn't know exactly where they were anymore. The only thing they were both certain of, was that they cared for each other more than ever. And they turned to that only thing.

Astrid woke up first. Her muscles were a bit numb, since she had stayed in the same position all night. Or all day, she didn't remember. By the way, was it night or day? How long had she slept? She ignored the answers to these questions, but she would care about it later.

She wanted to move, but she remembered that she wasn't alone. Hiccup had slept with her. He was still asleep. She had her back to him, and he had his arms around her. She tried to extricate herself from his embrace without waking him. She managed to lift his arm and turn over, she then put it down and interlaced their fingers. She was now looking right at him, so close that she could see every detail on his face. His freckles, his delicate eyelids, his thin lips slightly opened, his brown hair hanging on his forehead. She gently passed her hand through it. The boy moved, and Astrid regretted having disrupted his sleep. But he didn't seem to wake up. Astrid promised herself to stop touching him, and only looked at him. His warm breath was coming from time to time, lightly brushing against her face. She stared at his chest, his regular movement. She felt like hugging him. But she didn't want to wake him up.

She suddenly realized that the situation was quite weird. Hiccup had always puzzled her, so her feelings toward him were constantly changing. She'd had enough of wondering if she hated or admired him, despised or envied him. She only knew that at that very moment, she was good, with him, and that it was the only thing that mattered.

The minutes were passing, Hiccup was still sleeping and Astrid wasn't getting tired of looking at him. She was daydreaming, and caught herself thinking about Toothless. About that magic flight he offered her. That flight which had opened her eyes, about Hiccup. She had understood many things that night. She had learned to understand and like Stoick's son, so underrated by his father. All of that thanks to a dragon. But the Night Fury was no more.

Everything had gone so fast. She could hardly imagine how the boy felt. He was certainly feeling lost, abandoned. Alone. But she would be here for him now. She didn't know why, but she wanted him to be happy. She couldn't stand seeing him suffer.

He was the first person she couldn't stand to see suffer.

She slowly sat up and put her lips on Hiccup's cheek. His skin was soft and warm.

* * *

Hiccup felt something on his cheek. Something soft and… wet. He opened his eyes and turned his head. His lips met Astrid's. The girl sharply moved back, surprised and embarrassed.

"Hiccup. You're awake."

The teenager was slowly coming out of his sleep. His eyes were half closed and he didn't seem to have noticed the little incident that had just happened. Astrid took that advantage and diverted his attention.

"You… you slept well?"

"Yes…" he answered, stretching. "Well… I think. What time is it?"

Hiccup was as confused as Astrid. He yawned and rubbed his eyes. His mind was still clouded, but some scraps of memories came back to him.

Toothless. His dad. Astrid. She… they slept together. Hiccup had just slept into Astrid's arms. She had comforted and consoled him.

He was feeling… weird. Yes, weird. He didn't know exactly how he was supposed to feel at the moment. He was actually torn between his sorrow for Toothless, his resentment against his father and the rest of the village, and what he was feeling for Astrid. He was lost in the middle of totally opposite feelings, and he didn't know which one to deal with.

He finally decided to concentrate on the least unpleasant one.

"Astrid?"

"Yes?"

What could he say? He had so many things to tell her, but he wasn't sure he would be able to put the right words on it.

"I… thank you." he finally said. "Thank you for yesterday… or today, earlier, I don't know. If you hadn't been here… I don't know what I would've done. Thanks for… for your support. Your presence. I…"

She smiled. She thought he was really cute when he stammered.

"Thank you, Hiccup." she answered simply.

The young boy wondered why she had thanked him. Because he had whimpered in her arms? He was still ashamed of his fit of crying, he hadn't wanted to show himself to be so weak. Especially in front of her. But… she had cried, too. He had just remembered. And he was still ignoring why.

"Astrid?"

"Yes?"

"Why did you cry?" he finally decided to ask her.

The young girl wasn't expecting that question. Caught unawares, she blushed and turned her back to Hiccup to avoid him noticing her embarrassment. She couldn't pretend, he knew the truth. She couldn't change the subject, he would notice it. She couldn't invent any excuse, he wouldn't believe her.

So for once, she decided to be sincere. But the problem was that she had ignored why she felt so touched by Hiccup's distress, to such a point that she let tears out.

She never cried. Except when someone she cared about was suffering. Someone she cared about a lot. Like her family.

No. It was more than that.

When someone she loved was suffering.

Her determination suddenly disappeared. She wasn't sure anymore of what she was going to tell Hiccup. She wasn't sure anymore she would answer him at all. Maybe silence was better than lies.

She didn't want to lie to him. But she didn't want to tell him the truth either. She wasn't sure she knew it, the truth. But deep down, she was aware of something, something she was trying to repress, but knew was justified. There were sure signs. Everything was too logical, too obvious to be denied.

But she didn't accept it. She was afraid. Afraid of being vulnerable, weak as she had been when she let herself go and cried in Hiccup's arms. She felt he had an influence over her, and she didn't like it.

The seconds were going by, and Astrid felt more and more lost. Hiccup wasn't saying anything, just giving her time to think. He hoped to manage to see what she hid under her shell, though he knew it wouldn't be easy. But as he hadn't been able to help it and showed her his despair, he wanted her to let him see hers. He would have to force her a bit, because Astrid didn't seem decided to answer.

"Astrid?" he said shyly.

For answer, she turned back abruptly, a menacing look on her face, and shouted, "I hate you, Hiccup! I hate you, you hear that?"

She paused, her face tense with anger, before she carried on even louder, "You want to know why I cried? I'm gonna tell you: I felt sorry for you! I looked at you, and I was sad for you, okay? I understood what you were feeling, so well that I end up feeling the same! There you go! Satisfied?"

Hiccup was staring at her, surprised. He knew his question would perturb her, it was his purpose, but he didn't think it would go that far. He regretted having pushed her to the limit, but he was satisfied all the same. She had answered his question.

Since he didn't want to exploit her nerves, he didn't answer. He only showed a face as neutral as possible, and sat on the edge of her bed.

Astrid sighed and crossed her arms, furious but relieved that Hiccup was keeping quiet. She took a moment to calm down, and then she slowly came closer and sat next to him. He gave a quick look at her, but didn't dare to talk.

After a few silent minutes, she told him with a calm voice, but a bit aggressively, "I hate you."

Hiccup stood up, and went to the door. Before he left, he looked Astrid straight in the eye.

"I know, Astrid. I love you too."

The door closed on his words, leaving her with a silence which confirmed them.


	4. Flashback

**IV. ****Flashback**

"I should have known. I should have seen the signs…"

Stoick was furious. Hiccup, his son, had just shamed him in front of his entire village. He had defied his origins, his ancestors, and his own father. The chief had watched his last hopes fade away, of one day seeing his son becoming a real Viking.

"Dad…" Hiccup started.

"We had a deal!" his father cut in.

"I know… we did… but that… that was before I… Argh… It's all so messed up…"

"So everything in the ring… A trick?! A lie!"

"I screwed up, I… I should have told you before now, I just… Take this out on me, be mad at me, but please, just don't hurt Toothless."

"The dragon? That's what you're worried about? Not the people you almost killed?!"

"He was just protecting me! He's not dangerous!"

"They've killed hundreds of us!"

"And we've killed thousands of them! They defend themselves, that's all! They…"

"Stoick!"

Gobber was coming, running as fast as his wooden leg would allow.

"Stoick!" he shouted again.

The chief turned back, and Gobber murmured to him, "Stoick, there was a problem with the dragon. It…"

"Dad, what is it?" Hiccup intervened.

But his father pushed him aside and went out, closing the door. He would have it out with him later, Gobber seemed to have a more urgent problem to manage.

"What's going on? What happened with the Night Fury?" Stoick asked.

"I… We tried to lock it up with the others, as you said," Gobber answered. "But it struggled, violently, and… it escaped. We tried to hold it back, kill it before it goes away, but it was too fast."

"WHAT?!" Stoick shouted. "The only Night Fury we've ever managed to capture! ESCAPED!"

He was furious with everybody. With the dragon. With Gobber, who let him flee. With his son especially. He felt betrayed. Hiccup had changed sides. He had thrown his lot in with them. Stoick understood that the dragon and his son were… bound. Such a relationship was unnatural; the dragons were their sworn enemies as long as Vikings had existed! He absolutely had to lead his son from going astray, or he would pay the price of his madness again.

He quickly considered several options, and chose one. He couldn't look for the best one anyway.

"Gobber, listen to me. I don't have time to explain, but only I ask you to not contradict me in front of Hiccup."

"Stoick, what are you…"

"I'll explain later, I said. You just have to let me do this."

He had let all those words out in one breath. That was close, since as Stoick has sensed, his son opened the door exactly when Gobber agreed. The two men looked at Hiccup seriously.

"What? What is happening, then?" he asked.

He seemed worried.

"Will you tell me why you're looking at me like that? And I want to see Toothless! Don't hurt him, leave him, he's not dangerous!"

Worried about his dragon, of course.

"Let him go, let me…"

"Hiccup! " interrupted his father. "Hiccup."

He froze, and asked again, "What?"

"The dragon," his father carried on, "Gobber tried to lock him up, but he struggled, and…"

Did he really have to lie? He didn't see any other possibility.

"He tried to kill Gobber…"

He couldn't defer now.

"… who had to defend himself. Hiccup, the dragon is…"

It was now. Stoick knew his lie would have far-reaching consequences, but he would assume responsibility for them.

"Gobber killed him. The Night Fury is dead."

* * *

When he saw the shock caused by the news, when he observed his son being seized with despair, Stoick knew he had made the right decision.

He was certainly feeling a bit guilty for having to subject his son to such a thing, but his desire to prevent him from moving away from his destiny was stronger than that guilt.

A worry was still remaining though, and wouldn't leave him, he knew it: the dragon would certainly try to find Hiccup. That was why Stoick had to find him first, and kill it. Like he should have done, right from the beginning. But his son's pleading had made him defer it. He thought it might be better to do it without him around.

He brought home his son in a state of shock, and let him in his bedroom. He wished he had said something to him, but he didn't know what, and Hiccup wouldn't have listened to him anyway. His gaze was vacant, empty of any feeling.

It would take a while for him to recover, Stoick knew it. But he'd be here for him, he had decided to not let him down until… until he'd changed.

He should have been more present. He should have taken care of his son, to prevent him from… being himself. Because Hiccup wasn't like him. He wasn't like the others. It had always worried him, but he thought it would get better with time. He had believed it, when he had been chosen for killing the dragon.

He was often wondering what he could have missed in his education. The boy seemed so… complicated. He didn't understand him. Was there anyone who understood him, anyway? Even the teenagers his age laughed at him; nobody seemed to take him seriously.

Well.

There was still Astrid, but Stoick didn't really know what to think of her. She had always seemed to consider Hiccup quite indifferently. But she came to help him in the ring. What did that mean?

Astrid was a brave and merciless Viking. She should have won dragon training. Hiccup should have been like her.

And, in a way, Stoick blamed her for representing what he wished his son was.

The chief sat down and sighed. Whatever the situation was developing, he would make his son forget about all those events and concentrate on his Viking duty.

First, he would announce to the village that they had killed their first Night Fury. And he would organize a feast to celebrate.

He also had to deal with the dragon. He would go over the island with a fine-tooth comb, to find it.

And kill him once and for all.


	5. Mourning

_**Hi there everyone, I'm sorry it wasn't supposed to be that long to update... Anyway, here's the next chapter, I hope you'll like it :)**_

_**Thanks a lot for your reviews, I hope I didn't disappoint too many of you, I don't know, maybe if some of you liked the fact that I killed Toothless, then I'm sorry, he's alive, I honestly couldn't write a whole fanfiction without him, this wouldn't have made sense for me. I just found interesting to make Hiccup go through a little mourning period. Also, it was interesting to see your different reactions, some of you were sure I couldn't have killed him, some others really didn't see the lie coming...**_

_**I don't answer to every single review, forgive me, I just don't know what to tell you but thank you for reading and giving me your opinion. But **__**of course I'll answer if you have a question or anything to ask.**_

_**Okay enough talking, I let you read :)**_

_**(usual thanks to cashewkitty, my beta-reader :))**_

* * *

**V. Mourning**

Get up. Eat. Wait. Eat. Wait. Eat. Go to bed.

That was Hiccup's day. And he knew the next ones would be identical.

After he left Astrid's house, he went to his and hadn't left since. He didn't want to see what was happening outside. He already knew. Life continued, people attended to their business. He preferred to stay alone. He didn't want to face the villagers, and their unbearable pride to have killed the first Night Fury. They hadn't even wondered once what _he_ could feel. They hadn't even tried to understand. They only saw him going away from his plotted course of action, and nothing else. And since their chief had reacted the same way, they didn't question more. They thought that Hiccup had only disappointed his father and refused to obey him once again. They were getting used to it.

The world was still going on, without worrying about Hiccup.

And it was good that way. He just wanted to forget and be forgotten.

The young Viking was in his bed. He knew he wouldn't fall asleep for a long time, but it was dark and he didn't have anything else to do anyway, so he stayed in bed. His eyes stared wide open at the ceiling. He was devastated. He didn't even feel like crying anymore. It was no use. He was inconsolable.

Despite how much Astrid had supported him, he couldn't just pass over his grief. His feelings for her weren't questioned, but his sorrow was way stronger; he had realized it the moment he found himself alone with his memories.

Those memories all the love on earth couldn't blur.

He constantly remembered the Vikings rushing at Toothless and immobilizing him. He should have reacted. Stopped them. Hit them, knocked them out so his dragon could flee. He felt so helpless. He had been totally overtaken by the events. He had always more or less felt like he was attracting all the misfortune on earth, but now, he thought, his lucky star – assuming there had been one – had definitely abandoned him.

And now, he was alone. Even Astrid couldn't erase this feeling.

It hurt. The only one able to truly comfort him was no longer with him.

He knew this gap left in his heart would never be filled again. Ever. Even if the Vikings deigned to listen to him one day, and understand him; even if his father suddenly became proud of him and considered him able to be his successor; he would never be happy again, he knew it.

Some wounds don't heal.

He felt empty. He wanted to stop thinking. He wanted to stop all those images constantly streaming past in his head, all those memories. His first meeting with Toothless. The fear, and then the curiosity aroused by the unknown. The discovery of the other. The taming. The acceptance. The first touch. The harmony. The attachment. The first flight. The trust. The faithfulness.

The friendship.

And the shock. Then, nothing. Overnight. Nothingness.

His life had lost all its sense the moment he had realized what he had lost. Living clandestinely as he had done it since his meeting with Toothless was risky, but it was what kept him hopeful. Because no matter what could happen, he knew his dragon was waiting for him. He was there for him. His days were punctuated by the certainty that he'd meet up with Toothless, and be able to leave this world for a few hours. Escape. Fly away. At the end, he was only living for that. He woke up in the morning and thought about all the unexplored places he'd go with his dragon. Every day promised a new discovery. But now the sky was inaccessible, Hiccup wondered what the reason was to continue to eat, drink, and sleep. Why would he physically keep himself alive while everything was dead inside?

He knew nothing nor anyone was waiting for him anywhere.

Yet his life would have to go on. But he couldn't imagine living without the thing which had given his life a meaning.

He wanted to flee. To go away. Very far away. To fly. But without a dragon, that would be difficult.

Hiccup suddenly had an idea. He only had to tame another one.

He bit his lip. He found himself cruel. He wasn't allowed to do that. He wasn't trying to… to replace Toothless, was he?

Then he thought. No. He was just trying to comfort himself as he could. He would never again find a friend like his Night Fury, but he could at least find again the pleasure of flying. This would only be a small comfort, but it might help him to stay alive.

He would never be able to replace Toothless. But he still needed dragons, in a way, and that was since he knew them better. These creatures were fascinating. He seemed to be the only one who had noticed it. And since no one was feeling disposed to listen to him, he would enjoy it on his own.

Hiccup's head was hurting. He was desperately trying to sleep for more than two hours, and his eyelids were finally getting heavy. He turned over in his bed, and curled up. He caught sight of the night sky through the window. He closed his eyes. The stars continued to sparkle behind his eyelids for a few seconds. He tried to empty his mind.

He waited. Slowly, he felt himself falling into the dream world.

Then he dropped off.

* * *

_The landscape was wonderful. From where I was, I had a panoramic view of the horizon. The deep navy blue of the ocean contrasted with the red-orangey color of the sky, and no cloud was disturbing this perfect scene. A light wind was blowing through my hair, lightly touching my skin. I took a few steps forward, and went near the edge of the cliff. Down, the forest. A big area of nature; a mix between green and brown. The birds were singing. A very little light patch, down there, on the left. The village. Below me, the sea. Its waves were licking at the rocks, making spray of white foam. Their murmur was calming me down. I drew in a long breath, and an iodized smell came to my nostrils._

_I was holding in my hands a very small box made of wood and metal. I didn't want to part with its contents. But I went here to get rid of it, so I was going to. I had to._

_A bird went past. It was letting himself be carried by the wind. It seemed happy. Carefree. Then a Deadly Nadder suddenly appeared from behind the mountain, and flew in front of me, in a round path. I observed its similarities with the bird, and noticed that they were in the end quite similar, apart from the size difference. The shape of the wings. The two hind legs tucked under the same way during the flight. The head too, which ended with a beak – well more like a kind of beak for the Deadly Nadder. The way they flew too._

_That was something I really envied those animals for. Being able to fly. To explore this inaccessible for humans area that was the sky. To touch the clouds._

_I took one more step forward, pushing some stones in passing, which fell into space. I looked down, waiting for them to go through the water's surface. But I lost sight of them, and couldn't see them in the middle of the stormy water next to the cliff. I sighed._

_A gust of wind more violent than the others suddenly blew me off balance. I sat down, my legs hanging into space, and put my little chest on my knees. I made it myself; I used some sketches from Gobber but I modified the opening system in my own way. The lid could be lifted up more easily, but its closing wasn't affected. Indeed, I added a tiny metal part, which prevented it from opening and risking emptying anywhere. His content was too precious to be lost. Even if I had to part with it._

_However, this box was apparently quite simple; I hadn't attempted to add any decoration. Only some wooden rectangles fixed together with curved metal band. And the inside was the same._

_I lightly touched the lid. I put my fingers on the cold metal until it would warm up. But this didn't happen. My fingers got cold instead._

_I lifted up my head. The day was setting. The sky was getting darker as the sun was going down below the horizon line._

_It was time._

_I stood up slowly, and briefly dusted my clothes. I held the little chest in front of me. I didn't want to empty it. But I had to. I knew things had to be that way. It was for the better._

_I took a deep breath, and lifted up the lid. I stared at the inside of the box. Closed it back._

_Gods that was hard._

_I gathered all the courage I had, and tried to open the small chest. But my hands didn't respond anymore. My fingers had contracted, holding the item as if their lives depended on it._

_My throat tightened up. My sight became blurred. I tried to pull myself together, but the tears overflowed and ran down on my cheeks, leaving behind them trails of salt water the wind seemed to try and dry._

_I had to do it._

_Trying to recover the control of my hands, I lifted the lid again. I barely made out the box's content through my tears, but I could see the wind was already carrying it away. It was now. I took a deep breath, trying in vain to calm down._

"_Goodbye, Toothless." I whispered, turning around the box._

_And the Night Fury's ashes dispersed, carried away by the wind._


	6. Sleep

**VI. Sleep**

_ I couldn't focus. Everything around me was only indistinct colored patches. The cloud of my dragon's ashes was manhandled by the wind's blasts, distorting it. I blinked several times. No, I hadn't dreamt._

_The grey ashes had gathered, and were now forming a figure I knew only too well._

_Toothless._

_He almost seemed to come back to life. He flapped his wings, and made some pirouettes. He was looking happy. So was I for him, but I'd have preferred him to be happy next to me. With me, in the living world. He flew up in the air, and I lost sight of him for a few seconds. Then I saw him swoop down, right to the ocean. I came next to the edge of the cliff, and looked down. He grazed the rocks, and then dived into the rough water of the sea. He disappeared behind the white foam of the waves breaking on the coast. I stared at the ocean, waiting for his head to appear between the rocks._

_But he didn't come back up._

_I first thought it had started raining when I saw drops falling in front of me. Then I realized they actually were my tears. I stayed there for a long time, leaning over the space, staring at where my dragon had just disappeared._

_I understood he wouldn't come back. It was over. He had joined the next world, leaving me to my fate._

_I didn't want it. I couldn't bear the idea of living without him._

_But he wouldn't come back to me._

_So I would come to him._

_Without thinking nor even deciding it, I felt myself falling into space._

"_HICCUP!"_

_I heard a voice yelling my name. A rough deep voice I knew pretty well. I turned over in my fall, looking around for my dad. But I didn't see him anywhere. __That was already too late anyway. __I closed my eyes. And his face appeared, right behind my eyelids. As realistic as if he had been in front of me. I opened my eyes, and his image erased._

_I was falling. I liked the air lashing my face. I felt like I was flying._

_I closed my eyelids again. My dad was still there. In my head._

"_You disappointed me until the end. You've never been a true Viking. Even so, you were my only heir."_

_He was talking, though he hadn't opened his mouth nor moved his lips._

"_You don't deserve to be my son, Hiccup."_

_He had a harsh look. His words were resounding at my ears, as if they were coming from my brain itself._

_Suddenly, his head's image blurred. I couldn't recognize him anymore. I even felt like it wasn't him anymore._

"_Why did you do that? Why did you leave me?"_

_It was Astrid's voice. Her face became clearer. She was crying._

"_I need you, Hiccup. But you don't seem to want me. You abandoned me."_

_I felt guilty. She was right. __But it was too late._

_I couldn't answer her. I couldn't do anything. I opened my eyes again to not see his face lined with sorrow and rancor anymore, and realized that the ocean was coming closer at a terrifying speed._

_I knew I wouldn't survive. I would hit the rocks with so much strength that I would immediately die. And I'd join my dragon, leaving Astrid. __I had made a choice._

_If Toothless had been here, he would have already jumped to catch me. Then I would have taken back my seat on his saddle, put my foot in the pedal controlling his prosthetic tail, and we would have stopped right before the rocks. And we would have gone again into the night sky. As it was before._

_But he was dead. He wouldn't catch me. And it would end like this. __My dragon wasn't living anymore, so I'd die too. Anyway, I was already dead, since I had definitely been separated from him. So what was the difference? I didn't have anything to do here anymore._

_I peacefully waited for the shock. Finally, this was only the logical continuation of things. __I wasn't scared. Because I knew he was waiting for me, in the other world._

_When my head hit the rocks, I felt a sharp pain spreading in my whole body. __And a last image appeared in my mind: my father, Toothless and Astrid, side by side, one was glaring daggers at me, the other one was smiling, and the last one crying._

* * *

Hiccup was woken up by his own cry. He abruptly sat up, in a sweat. He needed a few minutes to understand that he had just dreamt. He was in his room, in his bed, and alive. At least physically speaking.

He stayed seated for long minutes, listening to his heart slowing down as his breathing was calming down. His nightmare had left him strangely pensive. He felt like he didn't feel anything anymore, as if all the emotions he had contained just got out of him.

He turned his head to the window. Daylight was shyly showing up. He decided to get up, knowing it would be almost impossible for him to go back to sleep now. He went downstairs and noticed that his father wasn't awake yet. Actually, it even seemed he wasn't here at all. He usually let his helmet and his coat on the table, or hung up behind the door, and Hiccup didn't see any of these objects in the room. He discreetly looked in his room, and indeed, his bed was empty.

He hadn't seen his father for an entire day now. When, the morning before, he came back from Astrid's, he remembered he vaguely noticed his absence, but without caring about it. He had rather been relieved he hadn't met him.

_I prefer to be alone anyway_, he thought.

He decided to eat a bit – more instinctively than because he was really hungry – then he went out to get some air. At this early hour, the village was barely waking up, so he would be able to quietly clear his mind, and then discreetly slip away.

He didn't know at all where to go. But he knew he needed to move.

His steps led him to the forge, still empty at the time. Hiccup knew Gobber was rarely there so early, but he was still relieved to notice his absence. He didn't want to bear any comments on the latest events.

The teenager came into the shop, stopped in the middle and observed. He didn't know why he came here. Habit, perhaps. He needed to keep his hands busy to avoid thinking. His eyes scanned the room, looking for something to do. He automatically made his way to the back of the shop, which had actually become his private room. He stepped the threshold, and came back into the main room to look for a candle, which he lighted, and put on a candleholder. He then went back to his private space. Its lightening was only made possible by a very small window, and the light of the rising sun was hardly coming in at that time. Hiccup put the candleholder on the table. It was still full of piles of drawings.

He froze.

Why had he gone back here?

He wanted to forget, try to do something else than think about his dragon. And obviously, he thought it would be a good idea to go in the room where he kept all his drawings of the Night Fury, and the sketches of his harness and his prosthetic tail.

Cursing himself, Hiccup started to put together all his drawings, making a point of turning over those with the right side up.

Sorting. Since he was here, we would do sorting. Anyway, he would have to do it one day. And even if this wasn't the best thing to do at that moment, he was there, and he would do it.

_You'll never see him again anyway._

While he was sorting, that line was repeating in his head, each time he found himself in front of one his drawings of the Night Fury.

The Viking felt a wave of sorrow growing inside him; he was trying to hold it back, but it slowly made its way inside him. And it didn't get better when he accidentally found a drawing he liked a lot. It showed Toothless seated down, his head slightly bowed, staring at him with that cute puzzled look. It was one of the first ones he had made of him.

The Viking felt a bunch of memories being thrown back at his face. He bit his lower lip and took a deep breath to dispel his tears. He nervously turned over the drawing and put it on the pile, then he covered it with another heap of parchments. Stopped a few seconds, hesitating. Took back the Toothless drawing he had just put into the pile. Folded it, and stick it in his pocket.

Breathed deeply. Several times.

Then he tied together the other sketches with a little leather cord. And finally, he took the small package, blew out the candle and got out of the room.

But as he was making his way to the door, Hiccup heard steps coming closer. Thinking it was only a passer-by, he stopped a few seconds and waited to see him go away through the window.

But this passer-by was none other than Gobber. He was coming to the forge. Hiccup didn't want to see him. He didn't want to see anybody.

The teenager quickly looked around him, looking for a way to go unnoticed. Running out of ideas, he hastily went back in his private room. But the blacksmith had already come in and seen him.

"Hiccup? Is that you?" he asked.

The boy kept quiet for a few seconds, and then finally answered, "Yes. I… I just came to get back… some stuff."

He made his way to the exit, his package under his arm, hoping Gobber wouldn't ask him anything.

"Oh… you… you're alright?"

"I guess so." Hiccup simply answered.

He didn't want to go into details. He was even avoiding asking himself questions about his mental state. Though he was relieved to see that Gobber didn't seem to intend to talk to him about… what he didn't want to talk about.

"You're sure?" the blacksmith asked. "You don't seem to feel well…"

"I'm good."

No, he wasn't good. But he was making do.

Hiccup crossed the forge doorway, and noticed the sun was rising and some villagers were already going outside. If he didn't want to meet anybody, he had better go now, and hurry up. Without a word for Gobber, he left.

He had been touched the blacksmith seemed to worry about him. But he was too angry at him to feel grateful. Because even if he was avoiding thinking about it, he hadn't forgotten his father's words.

"_Gobber killed him. The Night Fury is dead."_

Of course, it wasn't completely Gobber's fault. His father had said he had only defended himself, and Hiccup was aware he wasn't the only person responsible. Him or another, it wouldn't have changed anything, it was the Vikings in general. Also, the orders were from his dad.

_Orders Gobber obeyed without questioning_, Hiccup though. _He shouldn't have listened to him without thinking._

The teenager arrived in front of his house, but he didn't want to come in. He didn't want to spend another day between its walls. He wanted to isolate himself somewhere else. Where no one would bother him.

His brain couldn't think for the moment, so he let his legs lead him. And instinctively, they brought him to the right place.

* * *

When Stoick pushed open his house's door that afternoon, he immediately knew that his son hadn't been there anymore for a while. The fire was off.

"Good." he thought.

He wouldn't need to justify his long absence.

He had gone more than a day ago now, and almost hadn't slept since. He had covered a great part of the forest, and then he had sailed around the island, looking for the Night Fury. But the dragon was still missing.

He had to go again immediately, to explore the other part of the forest. The dragon was certainly there. Yes, if he left now, the problem would be solved before two days at the most. He would kill the animal, and proudly bring back its head on his sword. And the whole village would celebrate the death of this so formidable dragon, during the feast he had planned for a few days from then. But for the moment, the dragon was still somewhere around the island. He had to find it.

Stoick sat down even so, and took the time to eat a bit. But the tiredness overcame him. He put his head on the table, thinking that a little rest would make him better. He fell asleep.

But he only woke up the morning after.

And he didn't suspect that unexpected events had occurred during his sleep…


	7. Research

**VII. Research**

Hiccup.

I had been looking for him for a while. His house was empty, he wasn't at the forge, and nobody in the village seemed to have seen him recently. I thought I would find him with his father, but Stoick had also mysteriously disappeared. After searching through the whole village, I decided to go away from it, and ventured in the forest.

I absolutely had to talk to Hiccup. But I absolutely didn't know what I was going to tell him. I only knew I needed to see him. Talk to him. _Him_, in short.

One day had passed since… since we had that "conversation". I hadn't seen him again since he had left my room, right after he had confessed his feelings to me. And that day had seemed terribly long. I had to admit it: I missed him.

I was walking quite fast, going further and further away from the village. But the further I went, the more I thought it wasn't useful to look for him over there; the forest was huge and I could get lost. I slowed down, at least to try and find any mark which would allow me to retrace my steps. I had never been so far in the forest. Except… except when I had followed Hiccup. When he had unwittingly lead me to the cove where he kept his dragon.

Of course! Why didn't I think about it earlier? He was surely there. I thought and vaguely remembered the direction he had taken. I must be able to find the cove, it was quite big and I would recognize the surroundings.

I had to find Hiccup. He must miss Toothless so much…

My heart sank. Strangely, I was missing the dragon too. More than I would have imagined. A few weeks ago, I still hated those animals. But everything had changed…

Hiccup had changed everything.

And I had to find him. I couldn't leave him alone with his memories, I was afraid he couldn't bear it. When he had cried, the other day, he had seemed so… lost. He had looked as if the entire world was collapsing on his frail shoulders. As if he wasn't strong enough to stand.

Since I knew him, life had been hard on him. His dead mother, the pressure from his father, then his disappointment, the comments and jeering of the other children, then teenagers his age. He must had felt so alone, and yet I remembered he had kind of an aura of courage, he seemed to accept events as they were happening, without needlessly wallowing in self-pity.

I suddenly realized I had never seen him that way. I had never tried to look further than his appearance, I had only followed the opinion of everyone. I had seen him as an incapable. As weak. When I was seeing him, because most of the time I wasn't even paying attention to him. Expect when he was standing in my way.

Since the beginning of dragon training, he had infuriated me by his lack of reactions and his clumsiness. I remembered I had seriously wondered what he was doing here. And then he had begun to become talented. Each day, he managed to overpower the dragons better than I had ever been able to do it. Since that moment, I had really started to get interested in him.

Because of my _jealousy_.

I felt ashamed. Though it was the truth. I had searched what his secret was only because I was jealous. Selfish. I couldn't bear the idea of Hiccup being better than me. Whereas he was way better than me. Nobody knew the real Hiccup.

I was almost running. The more I thought about him, the more I missed him. I had that weird feeling in my chest, since the day before already, and I suspected Hiccup to be the person responsible.

I recognized a part of the forest. I wasn't very far from the cove. My heart skipped a beat. I was looking forward to seeing him.

I continued walking, and arrived at the cove soon. It was pretty big, so I couldn't immediately see where Hiccup was. I carefully went down the rock face, scanning the surroundings. I still didn't see him.

My determination began to decrease. As I was walking around, I was less and less sure to find him here. While I started to give up the idea, I heard a crack behind me. I abruptly turned over and firstly only saw a huge black thing. Which was breathing. Who opened big green eyes.

I closed my eyes, on the verge of fainting, before opening them again.

Toothless was still there. Seated in front of me, staring at me with a puzzled look.

Oh my gods, was I going insane?

A thought suddenly hit me. Toothless certainly wasn't the only Night Fury over there. Yes, this dragon must be one of his cousins. But why wasn't he on his guard? He came closer. I didn't move. He sniffed at me, and gently rubbed his head against me. I saw his tail. And his harness. I hadn't paid attention to it, but it was still there.

This dragon could only be…

"Toothless?" I asked. "Is… is that you?"

By way of answer, the Night Fury licked my face. He had recognized me. And he had missed me, apparently. I still hardly comprehended. Unconsciously, I had already get used to the idea of not seeing him again. Yet he was there, in front of me. So he had gone away. Had Stoick lied, or had he really thought he was dead? And why Toothless hadn't come back to the village?

This last question was really stupid. Of course, Toothless hadn't come back to the village after what happened in the arena. He was aware of the danger hovering over him, he had wisely come back here, knowing Hiccup would meet him there at first.

Hiccup. I absolutely had to tell him. But I still didn't know where he was.

"Wait here, I'll come back soon!" I told Toothless.

He seemed to understand. I quickly went away, and climbed the rock face, slipping several times in the rush. Once at the top, I looked at Toothless one last time. He was staring at me. I read impatience in his eyes.

"Don't worry, you'll see him again soon." I said, more for myself than for the dragon.

I turned over and went into the forest. I was running as fast as possible, bursting with joy at the idea of telling Hiccup his dragon was still alive, and had never left him. His face ravaged by grief was constantly in my head, and it only made me run faster. I was coming closer to the village, and thinking about all the places where I could find Hiccup.

I was terribly looking forward to seeing him. I wanted to be the one who would bring him the news which would make him smile. I wanted to see a glimmer of hope in his eyes. His nice green eyes. I didn't want them to ever let out a tear again.

I wanted to be the one to make him happy.

* * *

Hiccup was staring at the flames enveloping and devouring his old parchments. Their heat pierced his skin, and their light colored it with a red glow. He kept his eyes on the fire until every single piece of paper was burnt. Then he looked at the ashes, thinking about that dream he had the night before.


	8. Revival

**VIII. Revival**

Astrid arrived at the village, out of breath. She first went to Hiccup's house, but it was still empty. She then went to the forge, where she found Gobber. But this last one ignored where Hiccup could be. She asked the people she met, without a positive answer. She felt like she was doing exactly the same thing as earlier this day. She forced herself to calm down, and stopped to think.

Hiccup. Think like Hiccup. What could he feel right now? He was missing his dragon.

_Dragon._

The only place in the village where she was sure to find dragons was the training arena.

And it was the only place in the village where she hadn't already been. It was totally possible he was there, considering the latest events.

Therefore, Astrid went to the arena. She couldn't help running. A lot of thoughts were going through her mind. She had so many things to tell Hiccup.

She went faster, and arrived in front of the arena. Everything was peaceful. Quiet. She slowly came closer, listening to every single noise, observing every single light which would mean someone was there. But she didn't notice anything. She opened the heavy door, and there, in the middle, she saw him.

A Deadly Nadder.

He was looking at her, without moving. Astrid didn't know what to do. Should she attack, hide, or just wait? And why was dragon staying motionless? She remembered the Deadly Nadders had a blind spot right between the eyes. But she was quite far from him, so was it really because he couldn't see her that he wasn't moving?

The moment she wondered if she couldn't discreetly go away, she heard a voice, "Astrid! That's you! Come on."

It was Hiccup. He had appeared from behind the Nadder. When she saw him, she immediately wanted to run toward him, but the dragon was still there, and she didn't dare to move.

"Er… He's not going to…" she started, pointing at the dragon.

"You're not armed?" he asked.

"No."

"So, that's okay, come slowly, he won't hurt you."

She didn't move. She trusted Hiccup, but she was afraid of the Nadder's reaction, since she perfectly remembered Toothless' the first time he had seen her.

She looked at Hiccup.

He looked at Astrid.

She didn't decide to move, so he took a step toward her. The Nadder, feeling movement, moved too. Astrid was now sure he could see her, but his behavior didn't change. Hiccup held out his hand toward him, and the dragon let him touch his muzzle. His breath, deep and slow, calmed down Astrid. She took a step toward Hiccup, and he took her hand to put it on the Nadder.

"Let me show you." he said.

Astrid let him. She felt like little tingles in her hand, moving along her arm, but she didn't know if it was due to Hiccup or the dragon. Maybe both of them.

Hiccup delicately pressed his hand on the Nadder's skin. Astrid felt his cold scales, then his warm breath. She was surprised by the softness of the reptile's skin. It was quite a pleasant sensation. She relaxed.

"See? Dragons aren't dangerous, when you know how to approach them." Hiccup said.

Their gazes met. Each of them looked deep into the other's eyes, enjoying the ambient quietude. The trio kept motionless for a few minutes, even the dragon was quiet. Little by little, Hiccup's hand gently caressed Astrid's, who felt hers becoming sweaty. Their fingers delicately mixed, then the Deadly Nadder went back to sit somewhere else in the arena, as if he had felt he was in the way.

The teenagers were still staring at each other, and their hearts sank almost at the same time.

"Hiccup…" Astrid started. "I have so many things to tell you…"

"It can wait…" he answered in a whisper.

And before Astrid got time to do anything, Hiccup stuck his lips to hers.

Surprised, she first let him do without reacting. Then she realized she liked it. She liked it _a lot_. So she slowly let herself go, and tenderly kissed Hiccup back. He placed his other hand on her back to draw her to him, and the contact of their two bodies made her tremble. Hiccup felt the same; he wasn't thinking about anything, but this: the heat of Astrid's body against his. And despite the fact that the gods seemed determined to persecute him, he was now certain he would stand.

Because she was there. With him. Close to him.

He admitted it: love might not make him forget his sorrow, but when Astrid was there, it could at least give him strength to go on.

Hiccup let go of Astrid first, to get his breath back. She whispered,"I hate you, you know that?"

He smiled and answered, "I know. That's why you're here, isn't it?"

"Not solely. I told you I had important things to tell you. You didn't listen."

She falsely pouted, though she couldn't help but add a smile.

"I'm sorry," he answered, smiling too. "I'm listening now."

Astrid tried to come back to reality, which wasn't really easy after what had just happened. Things had been going faster between Hiccup and her for a few days, and sometimes her heart could hardly keep up. But despite all those new feelings rushing in her, she was now sure of what she felt for him.

She shook her head. She was wandering. To begin, she had come here to tell him she had found his Toothless.

"Hiccup…" she started, looking at him seriously. "I've been in the forest, to the cove where you kept Toothless."

His gaze suddenly clouded over. She had just reminded him something he had managed to forget during their kiss.

"You really had to go there, Astrid?" he asked with a note of pain in his voice. "What did you think you'd find there?"

"Let me finish!" she exclaimed. "I was looking for you, but that's not the point. Hiccup, _your dragon is still alive_!"

She looked at him, waiting for his reaction. A lack of understanding froze his face. Then, he asked, "What?"

"Toothless isn't dead, Hiccup! I saw him there, he's alright ! He's waiting for you!"

Hiccup's brain froze. Two thoughts went through it in double-quick time, like two pictures flashing on and off so fast that they seemed to be one.

_Gobber killed him. Toothless isn't dead. Gobber killed him. Toothless isn't dead. Gobber killed him. Toothless isn't dead. Gobber killed him. Toothless isn't dead. _

_TOOTHLESS ISN'T DEAD._

He heard his dad's words in his head.

"_The dragon, Gobber tried to lock him up, but he struggled, and…"_

Hiccup remembered what he had thought at that moment.

_Did he manage to flee?_

Apparently, yes. But… why had his father told him the opposite?

The young Viking was totally lost.

"You… but… what?" he stammered. "No, Astrid, no. It's not… he… my father… Gobber…"

"I know what I saw. And I swear it was Toothless. I didn't dream."

"You… you're really sure it was him? There are probably other Night Furies, and…

"He still had his harness. And he recognized me."

_She's telling the truth_, Hiccup thought.

His mind wandered for a few seconds. Then he slowly realized what Astrid had announced to him.

The first picture appearing in his head was his drawings of the Night Fury, from then on in ashes.

He thought about his dream.

About his dragon.

And so many other things…

Toothless was _alive_!

His face brightened in an immense joy, but that was nothing compared to the explosion of happiness inside him. He threw himself into Astrid's arms, and the girl almost fell.

She smiled. She was satisfied. She had managed to get what she wanted.

She had seen it.

The glint of hope missing in his gaze.

She carried Hiccup to the exit.

"Let's go, he looks forward to see you! He missed you."

_He missed me_, Hiccup repeated in his head. _If he knew how much I missed him…_

He held back Astrid by her arm.

"By foot? When we have a much faster way?" he said, pointing at the Deadly Nadder, still lying on the ground.

She smiled. Of course.

The real Hiccup was back.

_Her_ Hiccup.

"Try to find me a rope or something like that." he asked her.

"What for?"

"We'll need something to hold onto."

Astrid looked around her, searching for what Hiccup had asked. The boy went toward the Nadder, stroked him, and then leaned over and squatted, staring at something on the ground, next to the wall.

The ashes.

He regretted burning his drawings.

Then he remembered. He got out of his pocket the only one he had kept. He stared at it. He could almost see Toothless moving his head and smiling.

_I'll be able to do others again now, anyway._ he thought.

And he smiled to himself, putting away the drawing in his coat.

Astrid had found a big box containing several weapons, shields and other objects. Searching through it, she unearthed a rope.

She stood up and brought it to Hiccup.

"Hiccup? You alright?" she asked when she saw the teenager squatted in front of the wall.

He quickly stood up and smiled.

"Yes, everything's alright." he answered. "You found it?"

Astrid showed him the rope. He nodded, and then they fixed it together on the dragon, right behind his wings.

"OK, I'll go in front." Hiccup said while sitting on the Nadder's back.

Astrid climbed behind him.

"Hang on." he whispered.

She slipped her arm round his waist, holding him a bit tighter than necessary. After he had verified everything was okay, he told the dragon to take off, and they all flew away.

The afternoon was near its end, and it was getting dark. The Nadder flew up beyond the clouds, and the teenagers could see a wonderful sunset. This reminded them their first flight together, with Toothless.

A magical moment they would from that moment on be able to relive.

At this thought, Astrid held Hiccup even tighter, and put her head against his back.

She looked down, and saw the forest, half hidden by a cloud. She then observed the horizon, and the sky. It was pink. Everything was so beautiful around her that she didn't know where to look. Hiccup's hair was regularly coming to tickle her face.

She was feeling good.

She closed her eyes. She wasn't hearing anything but the air whistling in her ears and Hiccup's breath.

The boy was looking forward to see his dragon, even if it was a bit hard for him to realize what Astrid had announced to him. Besides, the girl was only intensifying this pleasant feeling inside him. He turned his head, but couldn't look at her directly. Answering to his movement, she kissed him on the cheek. He smiled.

The young Viking was feeling better. In less than a day, he had been through such opposed and violent feelings that his heart was hardly recovering. He had suddenly jumped from tears to smiles. From sorrow to joy. From despair to hope.

And from death to life.

The dragon dangerously tilted, pulling Hiccup out of his thoughts. He tried to concentrate on the flight. The village was almost invisible now, a dark group of houses confused with the forest. It would soon be totally hidden by the trees.

Hiccup and Astrid could feel the same excitement growing inside them.

They were close.


	9. Reunion

_**Reply to mark's review: Thank you! I'm glad you like it so far, though I'm afraid you'll be a bit disappointed cause I didn't make many modifications in the general plot. Well you'll see, just don't except a completely different story, I stayed pretty close to the film.**_

_**While I'm talking about reviews, I thank every one of you who left one, I don't always answer cause I don't know what to say, but every time it makes me smile and it definitely makes my day. And also, thanks **__**A LOT to all the people who followed/favorited me as an author. It means so much to me, **__**I really enjoy it when you enjoy my fics :D**_

* * *

**IX. Reunion**

I was going to see Toothless again. I was going to see Toothless again. I was going to see Toothless again.

It was there, on the back of a Nadder, in the middle of the sky, that I started to realize. I could finally see a glint of hope, there, at the end of the dark tunnel where my best friend's death had put me. And my brain was only concentrated on one thing: my dragon. His head. His ears. His eyes. His smile.

No words could describe how I was feeling.

Astrid was seated behind me, holding me tight. Very tight. _Too_ tight. So tight that I started to have difficulty breathing. I moved my body, but she didn't react.

"Astrid?" I called. "Astrid!"

I had to shout so that she could hear me.

"Yeah?"

"I can't breathe."

She immediately relaxed her embrace, and I took a deep breath.

"Sorry."

I didn't answer.

Looking at the ground, I noticed it was time to go down a little, because we were close to the cove and the mist was hiding a part of the forest. I made the Nadder fly down, and we went back under the clouds. I saw the cove, and the water of its lake glistening with the dim light of dust. Impatient, I began the landing, looking around for my dragon. When the Deadly Nadder touched down, I immediately got off, and turned around several times, trying to find the Night Fury. But it was already dark, and I couldn't see him.

"Toothless!" I called. "Toothless! It's me, I'm here!"

No answer. I turned back to Astrid, and jumped. Toothless was sitting next to her. He was staring at me, motionless. I ran toward him, but he growled. Slowing down, I looked at him, confused.

"What's happening? You're not… happy to see me?"

Without me being prepared, he charged, and pounced on me. He had the same eyes than the day we had met. I had never thought this would happen again, but I was afraid of him. His gaze wasn't reassuring at all, and he was pressing my neck with an abnormal strength.

This wasn't him. This couldn't be him. Why would he react that way ?

"Hiccup?" Astrid called. "You alright?"

"Er… I don't know."

She came closer and understood when she saw Toothless' head.

"Please do something," I begged, "Why is he looking at me like that, what's wrong with him?"

"I don't know, I… He's your dragon, you should know him."

I felt the fear in her voice. She didn't dare to intervene.

She was right. He was my dragon, I was supposed to know what was going on with him. I started to have difficulty breathing. I had to think, and fast. I panicked. My head was spinning, which wasn't making thinking any easier. I still tried to concentrate.

All of a sudden, I understood.

He was probably angry at me because I had left him alone. He must have been stuck here for something like three days, and he probably wanted explanations. And apologies.

"Toothless…" I hardly articulated. "I'm sorry. So sorry."

He relaxed the pressure on my neck, and I could breathe normally again. But he still had his threatening look.

"I… that's not my fault." I carried on. "Well, not exactly. That's my father, he… I should have never believed him. You remember, after what happened in the ring, with the other dragon? Well, my father… he told me… that you were… not here anymore. That you were… dead. That's why I didn't look for you."

In fact, I didn't know whether my father and Gobber had deliberately lied to me, or whether they ignored that my dragon was alive. But I would think about it later.

Toothless was still staring at me. I didn't know if he had understood, but he seemed to calm down. I added, "Believe me, I was always thinking about you. I missed you so much… I really thought I'd never see you again."

I swallowed. The tears were coming. Toothless might have noticed it, because he definitely stopped being threatening, and gave me a friendly lick on the face. I was relieved. He had really scared me. I wasn't sure he had understood everything, but at least he wasn't angry anymore. I stood up and stroked his muzzle. He rubbed his head against my face.

And the tears came out that time. But they were tears of relief. Of happiness.

I was with my best friend again. He was alive! I thought I would never touch his smooth and cold skin again, nor see his smile and his big green eyes on me.

I was feeling a bit weird. All of what I had felt those last days was like canceled. All these violent feelings were unfounded since Toothless had never been… dead. But I would recover.

The first thing I wanted to do was leave with my dragon, fly far away, high in the sky, to forget all the horrible moments that had passed. Just him. And me. Like it was before. But…

I remembered I hadn't come alone. Without Astrid, I would have never been back there, I had too many memories. Thanks to her, I had found back my dragon. I looked at her. She hadn't moved.

"Astrid… Thank you. For everything."

She smiled and hugged me. Toothless grumbled with impatience. I came off of her, and turned to my dragon.

"Sorry, bud. She deserves as much attention as you."

He came closer and gently pushed me with his muzzle, and then pointed at the sky with his head.

"Yes, I know. We're going."

I checked his harness, and sat on the saddle. I was finding back sensations I had terribly missed.

"We'll be right back." I told Astrid.

"No problem," she answered, smiling. "I'm waiting here."

"We won't be long, I promise."

I looked at her one last time, and flew away.

Toothless went straight up, his path almost vertical. We soared in the night sky, at a speed no other dragon could reach. I realized it shouldn't have been quite funny for him – a dragon unable to fly for several days while these creatures were made to live in the air… But Toothless was dependent on me. Like I was dependent on him too, in a way.

Once we flew above the clouds, my Night Fury turned over and swooped down, right toward the ocean. Air was blowing on my face so violently that I could hardly keep my eyes open. I could still see the navy blue area coming closer with a scary speed, and then abruptly stop only a few inches from us. Toothless glided for a few seconds, and started off again. We were flying, each of us anticipating what the other wanted to do. My movements were precise and calculated, my dragon and I were one, slaloming between the clouds. In a bend, the prosthetic tail suddenly gave me a fright, and kept wedged. We were starting to loose altitude, going down to the sea in a spiral path. The waves were dangerously coming closer; I panicked and forced a bit on the mechanism, at the risk of definitely lock it. But that night, for once, I was lucky. The pedal released itself, and I took back the control of his tail. We continued our flight as if nothing had happened. This little incident made me smile. I liked that surge of adrenaline which controlled my body every time danger was coming during a flight. It was another kind of fear. Without this risk, those aerobatics would be way less fun.

I had missed all this so much…

The sky had become like a second home for me; except some birds and the dragons, no one could venture through it. I like this privilege above all. I was leading kind of a double life, divided between the earth and the sky. Between my village and my dragon.

I felt free. I felt good.

The starry sky. The moon. The wind in my face.

The ocean, the forest, the clouds.

Toothless and I.

Together.

* * *

High up there, on his dragon, above and beyond everything, Hiccup felt like nothing could affect him anymore. He was happy again.

However, he couldn't help but feel a kind of worry growing inside him. If the hope was here again, the problems weren't over. At all.

They were only starting…


	10. The calm before the storm

**X. The calm before the storm**

I stayed here for a while, motionless, staring at the night sky, in which I had just seen Hiccup and his dragon disappear. The stars were shining, like a bunch of little holes pierced through a huge navy blue canvas hiding the sun. A cloud was partly shading the moon, but the milky-white light of it still glistened in the lake. I stared at the reflection of the sky in the pond. I was fascinated by its flat and smooth surface; I almost felt like I could walk on it. But its motionlessness was soon perturbed by little waves creasing it. I followed with my eyes the rings in the water, to find their origin. I then saw the Nadder leaning over the lake, drinking its water. The brightness of its scales' colors was softened by the dim light, but the dragon still looked majestic.

Deadly Nadders had always impressed me, in a way, more than the other dragons. And this had been positively emphasized since I wasn't considering those animals as dangerous enemies.

I was looking at the Nadder's body, observing the curve of its back, his tail and its retracted spines, and finally, its wings. He was quietly drinking, bowing his head from time to time.

Relaxed and confident, I slowly came closer. My first contact with it – a few hours ago, in the training ring with Hiccup – had made me feel a bit weird, both attracted and fascinated. However, I still wasn't used to that sudden interest I was taking in animals I thought to be destined to kill my whole life. But little by little, I was starting to understand better the relationship between Hiccup and his dragon, and I was even envying it.

I was now right beside the Nadder, close enough to see his abdomen moving with him breathing. He had finished drinking, and turned his head, certainly feeling my presence. He stared at me, motionless. Since he seemed quite calm, I dared to carefully hold out my hand. He let me touch him without hesitating. I liked to feel his scales under my fingers. Both hard and soft. His cold skin, his warm breath. I touched his neck. He purred, and rubbed his head against me. I smiled.

"I can't believe we've missed all… _this_, during all those years…" I whispered for myself.

I sighed and sat on the ground. The Nadder lay down beside me, and I began to mechanically stroke him. He closed his eyes. I turned mine towards the sky.

I liked night. Everything was more quiet, more beautiful. It was calming me down.

I suddenly saw a little dark shadow going past the moon. I smiled for myself. Hiccup and Toothless.

I was happy for them. But also worried. This was all very good, but now they were back together, problems would start again. The "death" of the Night Fury had kind of made time pause, as if Hiccup had stopped living at the same time as he thought his dragon had. I couldn't be mad at him for that, but now, he would have to face his father. His village. His destiny. As if he didn't deserve a bit of peace after what he had lived through. And also, he… _we_ knew something, something we had discovered a few days ago, something that we couldn't ignore anymore.

The dragon island. And that kind of huge monster forcing them to attack us to bring him food.

Life was so unfair sometimes. Dragons were incredible creatures; they didn't deserve to be hated. Yet Vikings had only had one goal for seven generations: kill them. Therefore, their nest was what they coveted the most. We couldn't ignore this. It had to be ended, in any way. But for the moment, I didn't want to break the happiness Hiccup had just found back. Even if I knew he was probably also starting to worry, I couldn't decide to remind him of this. I didn't like to see his gaze cloud over. I didn't like to feel him worried or preoccupied. I didn't like what was making him unhappy.

I dreamily stared at the reflection of the moon in the water of the lake. Next to me, the Deadly Nadder was quietly dozing. Tiredness was starting to be felt, and my eyelids were getting heavy. Hiccup would probably come back soon, he had been gone with Toothless for a while.

I yawned. And toppled backward. Someone had just violently pulled me on my shoulders, and pinned me to the ground. Lying down, I saw a body leaning over me.

And I felt lips coming and finding mine.

I smiled inside, kissing Hiccup back. He stood up after a way too short time. I sat up and hit him on the shoulder.

"You scared me, you idiot." I said, smiling.

"That was the intention." He answered mockingly.

He sat next to me. We kept silent for a few minutes, looking at the quiet water of the pond. Toothless stretched out near his friend, who was gently touching his head. The Nadder seemed to be asleep, and his warm breath was regularly tickling my thigh. I didn't want to wake him up. Yet I knew we were supposed to go back to the village. And I knew Hiccup knew it too. But none of us wanted to face whatever would happen next. We were fine, the four of us, dragons and Vikings, sitting here and looking at the night. No one dared to say that it would have been more reasonable to go back home.

Hiccup stopped touching his dragon – he was also dozing now – and moved slightly on his right to come closer to me. Our thighs were almost touching, and this closeness triggered little tingles in my whole body. But I was starting to get used to this. I brushed his arm with my hand, going from his shoulder to his wrist, and interlaced my fingers to his. I looked at him. He was smiling, his gaze still facing the lake. He started to caress my hand with his thumb.

"Hiccup…" I whispered.

"Astrid?"

I liked it when he was saying my name. I still hadn't turned his head toward me. I approach my face from his, leaning toward his ear.

"I…" I started.

I breathed.

And kissed him on the cheek. But when I was about to come off, he firmly caught my neck, preventing me from going away. My heart missed a beat. He turned his head. I closed my eyes. He began to slowly move his lips. My body wasn't responding anymore. He caressed my neck. I couldn't manage to move. He let go of my hand and put his on my thigh. I felt like an electric shock had freed my strained muscles, and I could finally react. Kissing him back, I put my hand on his waist, drawing him to me. He gently pushed me, making me lie on the ground, and leaned over to come above me. My heart was breaking speed records. I pushed him back, reversing our positions. Our rolls had brought us next to the Nadder, still asleep. Delicately coming off of Hiccup, I placed my hands on each side of his head. I was now sitting astride on him. He looked at me. I lost myself in his eyes. His pupils were dilated because of the darkness. He passed his hand on my face, pulling away a lock of my hair.

"Astrid." He said simply.

"Hiccup." I answered.

We both smiled. Then he put his hands on my hips. He first caressed them gently, before stopping for a few seconds. I didn't react, waiting for him to continue. A mischievous smile lit up his face, and he began to tickle me. I tried to control myself, contracting my stomach, but I couldn't resist very long. I let it go and started to laugh playfully. He answered by tickling me even more. I was moving all over the place, totally helpless. Hiccup took advantage of my temporary weakness, and made me roll. I was lying on the ground again. He hadn't stopped tickling me. It was really getting unbearable, but I managed to pull myself together and get revenge. I thought for a second he was insensitive to it, but his defeated smile finally betrayed him. He joined my bursts of laughter, still tickling me despite my response.

This continued for several minutes, both laughing so hard our stomachs were hurting, and each of us was trying to take the upper hand on the other, in vain. The two dragons, woken up by all the noise we were making, had sat up and were staring at us, puzzled.

The situation was ridiculous, but it felt so good.

After a while, Hiccup gave up first and limply let himself fall on the ground. I stopped too, and lay beside him. He took my hand. The sky was beautiful. The moon too. I felt like I could hold it in my hands.

"What now?" I asked after a few quiet minutes.

"You think my dad lied?" he questioned instead of answering.

"I don't know."

"He could."

"He wouldn't do such a thing to his son."

"Astrid, I don't want to go back to the village."

He sighed, and carried on, "But I guess we'll have to anyway…"

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I will… keep pretending Toothless is… isn't… here anymore."

The dragon groaned and moved closer to Hiccup, who gently stroked his head. The Night Fury lay down next to the boy.

"To protect him. I will never let them touch him again." he finished.

"And then?"

"Then?" he repeated.

"The dragon island." I simply said.

"This… I have to say I haven't thought about it yet. Since… the events with Toothless, I didn't worry about that. But I know we have to do something. We _will_ do something. For the dragons, and for us. I only have to find when and how. Astrid, it's so complicated…"

"I know. But I'm here. Hiccup, you're not alone, I'll help you. We will go through it."

He pressed my hand. I carried on.

"We will make the village listen what you have to say. We have responsibilities, and we will assume them. Together."

He didn't answer. But I knew he agreed.

The last minutes we spent there were silent. Hand in hand, our gazes lost in the middle of the stars. Then, slowly, without a word, we stood up. Hiccup stroked his dragon one last time, and left him to sit on the Nadder's back. I sat behind him.

And, as we were flying up in the air, I could see the Night Fury getting smaller and smaller down there, until he became only an invisible dark patch swallowed by the night.


	11. Lies and betrayals

**XI. Lies and betrayals**

I opened my eyes. The ray of sunshine filtering through the window of my room had woken me, but I was still tired. I had come home late. After we had taken back the Deadly Nadder to the training arena, I had stayed a few minutes with Astrid. We hadn't talked much. We only hadn't wanted to be separated again. A bit as if time had stopped and would have continued the moment we would have parted. But I had finally come home, and she had wanted to stay a bit more with the Nadder. A bond had been made between them. I wasn't sure it was as strong as the one between Toothless and I, but at least there was a relationship starting. I was happy I could share this with someone. Above all with Astrid. I finally felt like somebody understood me, and I was feeling less lonely.

I sighed. I wanted to stay in bed… but I knew I wouldn't be able to fall asleep. All sorts of worries had already filled my brain.

The first one concerned Toothless' safety. If I could, I would have stayed with him. I didn't want to leave him alone in the forest; I was too afraid someone would find him. I knew what would happen if so. And I knew I couldn't bear this one more time. But unfortunately, I had to leave him there, because he didn't have anywhere else to go. I didn't have time to look for another place for him to hide, and I obviously couldn't bring him to the village.

My second concern had remained hidden inside me those last days, but had just come back with Toothless' return. And it wasn't only about my Night Fury. It was about all the dragons. I had become attached to those creatures since I had realized I absolutely couldn't kill them. I had discovered many things about them, and I ended up finding why they were attacking the village. If I could find any way to end this servitude, things might get better. For all I knew, the dragons didn't need to attack us to eat since they could catch fish on their own, so maybe they would stop stealing our food if their "Queen" disappeared. And that way, I might finally prove to my father and the whole tribe that I was right.

My father. Another worry. I still didn't know if he had lied. I tried to convince myself that he couldn't do such a thing, he couldn't make me believe my dragon was dead, yet I was beginning to have doubts. And even if thinking that my own father would tell me such a lie horrified me, I couldn't help but considering it. I had read so many things in his gaze, when we had had that conversation right after the dragon training final… I was used to his harshness, yet the huge disappointment mixed with anger I had seen in his eyes at that moment was different than the other times. It was like… final. It had scared me. For the first time, I had felt that I had really gone too far. He wouldn't forgive me.

Clarify things with my father. Find a way to stop the dragons' attacks. Try one more time to make the Vikings understand. Finally be able to spend time with Toothless. And Astrid.

I had a strange feeling of renewal. Same secrets, same worries, same fears. Turning round in my head.

Trying to stop the thoughts quickly flowing, I suddenly sat up in my bed and decided to get up. I went down, and noticed that my father seemed to be absent again. When I had come home the night before, I had found him asleep on the table, still wearing his coat, a stock bag which seemed almost empty on the ground. As if he had come back from a long expedition, and was so exhausted that he had fallen asleep there without taking the time to go to his bed. I had no idea why he was absent. My mind had been preoccupied by something else.

I thought about what I was going to do that day. I had to go to the forge to take some tools; the mechanism of Toothless' prosthetic tail had a flaw I had to correct. I would then go and find my dragon. I probably shouldn't go for too long, to avoid arousing suspicion. But on the other hand, every minute I wasn't with him, someone could find him without me knowing it. In both cases, I had to be as discreet as possible.

I would try to see Astrid too. I was already missing her. It felt so good to be listened to and understood…

"_Hiccup, you're not alone, I'll help you. We'll get through it."_

I wasn't alone. She would help me. And we would get through it.

I had felt incredibly good the day before, with her. My uncertainties about her had disappeared, and everything seemed… obvious. Natural. Reassuring.

I remembered her lips on mine as if they had never come off of them. I could still feel her body sat on mine. Her beautiful blue eyes looking at me. And all those new desires growing inside me.

I packed up a few things in a little bag – a slice of bread, a flask, and my notebook – and quickly ate some bread.

I also had to bring Toothless some fish. The poor dragon only had the lake in the cove, and he had probably already emptied it from any living thing. I could certainly hold on a few more days, but feeding him was becoming necessary. But I had to find quite a big amount of fish, and it risked seriously endangering my discretion. But otherwise, he would die of starvation in one week, and I obviously couldn't take that risk.

I closed my bag and looked around me. I grabbed my axe; I could pretend I was training in the forest if I met someone, which would more or less justify my stock bag. Then I left my house and went to the forge, thinking about a way to gather as discreetly as possible a basket of fish for Toothless.

* * *

"You're leaving now?"

"Yes. I absolutely have to find that damn dragon and kill it."

"So that's what you've been doing for two days?"

"Yes, and I was supposed to spend my night doing this, but I fell asleep. Well, I guess finding a Night Fury in the dark is impossible anyway."

"I don't want to question your plans, Stoick, but… you announced a feast to celebrate the death of a dragon you haven't even killed yet. It's pretty urgent to find him, isn't it?"

"I know, Gobber, I know… That's why I'm leaving right now."

"By the way, I saw your son yesterday… And he didn't seem to be doing very well."

"As long as he has stopped whatever he was trying to do with the dragons…"

"I'm serious, Stoick. He looked so unhappy… I mean, he's not usually very joyful, but… I have never seen him like that, I swear."

"You talked?"

"No. Almost not."

"You should keep an eye on him. I know this isn't easy, but… I'm… doing this for his good. Really. I'd like to avoid something like that Monstrous Nightmare scene happening again."

"I understand."

_No, you can't_, Stoick thought. But he answered, "It's important he thinks taming dragons doesn't make any sense. I'm trying to protect him, and all of us too."

Leaning on the wall behind the forge's entry, I bit my lip to avoid screaming. I was holding my axe so tight that I felt like I could break it in two.

I was totally stunned by the revelations I had just heard in my father's and Gobber's mouths. I couldn't believe they dared to dupe me like that. Of course, I had thought about the fact that my father might have lied to me, but seeing this hypothesis confirmed was making me realize that I hadn't actually thought he would have really been able to do such a thing. Yet _he had done it_. My anger was so that I could have thrown my axe at his face. I almost wanted to kill him. No matter that the man who had just said those words was my father, I just wanted to make him suffer as he had _intentionally _made me suffer.

"_Find that damn dragon and kill it."_

The situation was almost worse than if Toothless had really been killed by Gobber. He would have only defended himself, while my dad…

I suddenly stood up. I had to do something. Right now.

Guided by nothing else than my determination to protect Toothless ad my refusal to lose him another time, I quietly walked along the wall and went out of the village. Once out of sight, I started to run. As fast as I could. My stuff was bothering me. I left the axe. I needed the bag.

The branches scratch my face until I drew blood, I didn't care. The only thing I was focusing on was running. Running fast.

* * *

Stoick was talking with Gobber before he'd go again to look for the Night Fury. He wanted to keep himself informed about possibly important events which would have happened while he was absent. They were now talking about Hiccup.

"It's important he thinks taming dragons doesn't make any sense. I'm trying to protect him, and all of us too."

Gobber was about to answer, but was interrupted by the sound of steps outside. Stoick turned around and saw through the window, for one second, a brown mop he knew well. He ran outside and had just enough time to catch sight of his son disappearing between two houses. He understood he had witnessed his talk with Gobber. He didn't know exactly what he had heard and understood, but he decided to follow him. He left the blacksmith and rushed after Hiccup between the two houses. He saw him weaving and disappearing again behind a wall. He ran to try and catch up with him. Passed the wall. The moment he was about to call him, he noticed he seemed to be fleeing toward the forest. Puzzled, he changed his mind and waited a few seconds, before he penetrated in the woods.

He followed him for about fifteen minutes, being careful to stay far enough from him to not be noticed, but also close enough to not lose his sight. He was trying to be as quiet as possible, but Hiccup didn't seem to be on watch. He was running quite fast and zigzagging between the trees with determination. It looked like he knew where he was going. And Stoick felt like he was about to find this out. However, he was starting to fall behind, out of breath. He had to stop for a few seconds, and when he wanted to continue, he had lost his son's trail. He took a few more steps in a random direction, and looked around him, listening carefully.

Nothing.

He was about to give up. When he saw it. His axe, on the ground, next to a tree. He came closer and thought. He couldn't remember whether Hiccup had his axe with him or not.

_Anyway, this can only be his_, he thought.

He left it there and continued running. After a few seconds, he heard a snap. He went toward its direction. And saw a figure squeezing two big rocks. He slowly approached and followed him. The way was quite narrow, and Stoick had to walk side-on to the face to move forward. But even in this position, his stomach was touching the rock. He finally came out, and saw kind of a big crater. He waited a bit before he dared to move forward. He leaned over and scanned the cove. There was a lake. He saw something moving. It was his son. And he wasn't alone.

Stoick suddenly came out of his hideout, and shouted.

"HICCUP!"

The boy turned round and lifted up his head. When he saw his father, he immediately got on his Night Fury. Stoick jumped on a big rock below him, and desperately looked for a way to quickly catch up with his son. But he wasn't really good at climbing, and his hesitation left Hiccup enough time to fly up on his dragon.

Therefore, Stoick, powerless, witnessed his son's escape, going away from a world where he couldn't find a place. The chief was furious. He angrily hit a little rock which rolled in the cove. He was seeing his plan collapsing, taking away with it his last hopes of being able to one day make his stupid offspring a true heir.

But what Stoick didn't admit was that he wasn't only angry with his son. Inside him, a little voice was telling him again and again that he was responsible for more than half of this trouble.

But he refused to listen to it.

And high up there in the sky, flying through the clouds, Hiccup was displaying huge self-control to restrain himself from turning back and having his Night Fury shoot a plasma blast at his father.


	12. Left

**XII. Left**

Fists and teeth clenched, Stoick pushed opened the door of his house and came in. He sent his bag flying and threw his son's axe so violently that it embedded itself in the wooden beam that was in its path. The chief of the village flopped into a chair and held his head in his hands. He breathed deeply to calm down. But it didn't work.

He had totally lost control of events. He was already quite nervous because of his endless problems with his son – problems which had got worse lately – and his vain search for the Night Fury, but before what had just happened, he had a plan, and knew more or less what he was doing. However, his son and the dragon had slipped through his fingers, leaving him with that horrible feeling of failure. He was furious. He should have noticed Hiccup had found the Night Fury. He should have kept an eye on him since the beginning, instead of thinking that he would be shocked enough to be unable to do anything for a couple of days. But at the same time, he had to leave to look for the dragon. He had also failed here. He had thought that leaving his son alone was necessary because he would be doing something which would possibly solve his problems. And, unattended, Hiccup had got ahead of him.

Maybe he shouldn't have gone for it without trying to make a better plan. But he had had to be quick. And now, the Night Fury was alive. And away. With Hiccup.

Stoick was seriously starting to have enough of all this. His son and his ideas. He even thought that if he had definitely left, maybe…

No.

He couldn't think like that. He wasn't allowed to. Because even so… Hiccup was his son. His only son. And more than the succession issue, there still had kind of a… paternal affection. His son was the best and only thing his late wife had left him. He had seen him grow up, and found a bit of Valhallarama in him. A bit too much sometimes.

But that son had just given up his Viking fate to go away with one of their enemies. That son had slowly gone down in his esteem as he had seemed to take another way than the one he was supposed to. Stoick couldn't consider him his son anymore.

However, that was also because he wasn't treating him like his son. He couldn't take him seriously, he was too worried and angry at the same time.

He refused to see what he was missing by not listening to him. Vikings were stubborn, and he was the best example of it.

* * *

Astrid opened the door of her house and found herself outside, in the sunlight half hidden behind the clouds. She blinked, waiting to get used to the brightness of the day, and started to walk, to go to Hiccup's house. She was trying to convince herself that it was because they had to talk about what they would do now Toothless was alive and all that stuff, and not because she only wanted to see the boy, but the closer she was getting to his home, the more she was smiling. She thought she might be looking a bit stupid, smiling to herself, but she didn't care. She was going to meet Hiccup, and she didn't know why but it was enough for her to feel happy. Maybe because she knew he was happy too, since he'd been reunited again with his dragon the day before.

Speaking of dragons…

Hiccup wasn't the only reason for her good mood.

The Nadder. It was the first thing she had thought about when she had woken. She remembered how she had looked at her, in such an expressive way that it had almost scared her. For a second, she had felt as if she was trying to communicate.

Even if she was getting more and more attached to her, she was still a bit dampened by her fear of being discovered. She knew perfectly what the Vikings would think about that, and she didn't want to find herself in the same situation as Hiccup. This feeling she was doing something forbidden was making her think about him and Toothless. He must have certainly felt the same at the beginning of his relationship with the dragon.

The sun was already quite high in the sky, showing that the morning was almost over. Astrid had got up a short while ago; she didn't like sleeping in, but she had come home so late that the sunlight hadn't even woken her.

She was at Hiccup's home. She knocked, and heard steps inside the house. They were too heavy to be the young Viking's though. Indeed, his father opened the door.

"Good morning, Astrid. What are you doing here?"

"I'm… I'm looking for Hiccup. Is he with you?"

"No."

"Oh… and… where can I find him?"

"Nowhere."

Puzzled, Astrid looked at Stoick. He didn't seem to be decided to give her more details. The young girl noticed that he looked… preoccupied. And his harsh tone wasn't really reassuring.

She shyly asked, "What do you mean?"

Stoick didn't answer at once. The girl started to get a bit worried. She was afraid the father and son had argued, and…

She held her breath. A series of catastrophic hypothesis streamed past in her head. What if Stoick had heard Toothless wasn't dead? And what if… he had punished his son? Or had he lied, and Hiccup had learnt it? Had he found the dragon and killed him? If so, where could have Hiccup gone?

"Left. He had left." Stoick finally said.

He was getting angry again. He both needed to put words on his fury, and feared to let himself go. Astrid hadn't done anything, she shouldn't suffer from this. But he had to tell her the truth. He had to tell someone.

"I don't think he'll come back." he said.

Astrid frowned. She didn't understand.

"But… he… when? Why?"

"I don't know. He… the dragon…"

Astrid really didn't understand why Stoick would say Hiccup wouldn't come back. It had to be one of his regular flights with the dragon he was doing to forget a bit about his problems, so there was no reason he wouldn't come home.

"Hiccup left with Toothless?" The girl asked, hoping for some explanations.

Stoick stared at her. She bit her lips. Too late. He had read in her eyes that she knew.

"You… you knew he was alive?" Stoick asked, raising his voice.

"No, well yes, I… we have… found him…"

"YOU KNEW HE WAS ALIVE!"

Astrid moved back, surprised. She was completely lost in front of the sudden anger of Stoick. She didn't know anymore what she had to say or not. She didn't know anymore who knew about what, nor who had lied to whom. So she kept silent. Stoick carried on.

"You didn't say anything… Both of you! You acted behind my back, you two!"

Stoick was realizing a lot of things seemed to have occurred while he was absent. Once more, he felt like he wasn't controlling anything anymore.

"You disappoint me, Astrid. I really thought you were better than that."

His tone sounded calmer. But it was almost worse. Astrid looked down.

"Why did you follow my son in his idiocies?"

The young Viking didn't know what to answer. She didn't even know if Stoick was expecting her to answer. Outdid by his authority, she only wanted to leave. To escape from all this pressure. To flee.

That was what Hiccup had done. He had certainly left because of this. The pressure of his father. And now, she had to support the anger Stoick had with him. This was unfair. He should have listened to what Hiccup had tried to tell him instead of getting angry with her.

_His idiocies. Stoick really doesn't hold his son in high esteem_, Astrid thought.

The girl mustered all her courage, and dared to face the gaze of the Viking chief. She tried not to blink, and retorted, "Because I'm with him."

"That's new."

"You don't understand. He… knows some things. He has discovered some things. You should listen to him."

"You're not trying to moralize with me are you?"

"I'm just trying to make you understand that…"

Astrid hesitated. She perfectly knew what she wanted to say, but she was afraid of Stoick's reaction.

"That WHAT?" he asked, exasperated.

Astrid made up her mind. She felt indebted to Hiccup. She had to defend him.

"That you're wrong. Hiccup isn't the one you all think he is."

"Really? I'm sorry Astrid, I appreciate you, but you're going too far there."

He paused. The girl was divided between fear and determination. Despite the fact that she had to show respect for her chief, she couldn't bear his behavior with his son anymore. And her feelings for the latter only increased things.

Stoick carried on, "And I'd really like to know since when you're so interested in Hiccup."

"What's the problem?"

"Answer me."

"Why would you be bothered by me being interested in your son? You don't think he deserves my interest? I say it again, you're completely wrong. He's worth way more than what he shows. And you should think about it instead of seeing him as someone useless."

"ENOUGH! How dare you… You're pretending to know him better than I do? I'm his father!"

"You don't understand."

"Will you tell me what is it I don't understand?"

"Your son."

"Hiccup? Well, listen, Astrid. I'm done. Since his birth, I took care of him on my own, I have to give him all the love he needs, I did everything I could to make him become a good Viking. He's my only heir, and it looks like no one except me cares about the fact that their future chief is on our enemies' side."

"Hiccup is not on our enemies' side! Dragons aren't what we think they are."

"All this sounds like no one around here is what he seems to be."

"That's the truth! All the problems are starting here, we shouldn't be fighting against them."

"They attack us! We only defend ourselves!"

"That's not their fault. They… they raid us because they have to. If they don't bring enough food back, they'll be eaten themselves. There's… something else on their island, it's a dragon like…"

"Their island?" Stoick interrupted. "So you've been to the nest?"

Astrid bit her lower lip. Once more, she had better keep quiet.

"Did I say nest?" she naively asked.

"How did you find it?"

"What? No… we didn't, the Night Fury did, only… only a dragon can find the island."

_Astrid, would you please shut up!_ the girl thought when she saw Stoick's face.

She had just given him an idea. A very bad idea.

"Oh no, no, please, it's not what you think. You don't know what you're up against! It's like nothing you've ever seen!" she desperately supplied.

But she was addressing empty space. Stoick wasn't listening to her anymore. He was walking all over the house, gathering stuff.

"Please! I promise, you can't win this one!"

Stoick was still ignoring Astrid, bustling and filling in his bag. What the girl had revealed to him had drastically changed his priorities. From now on, the village was more important than his son. If he managed to get to the nest and destroy it, dragons would definitely leave. He would finally accomplish the mission his father had entrusted him with, this mission all his ancestors had passed down to each other through generations. His name would forever be written in the history of their tribe.

_Stoick the Vast, the one who defeated dragons and brought back peace on Berk._

Yes. It sounded good. He would find that damn island, destroy the nest, and definitely send the dragons away.

He would deal with his son later. Anyway, he couldn't do much about that at the moment. He didn't know where Hiccup was, and was totally discouraged. He felt like he had tried everything, without results. The father and the son were both stubborn, and each of them refused to understand the other's point of view. The situation was hopeless. They had both had enough of their vain efforts.

The Viking had packed all he needed. He was ready to go. He remembered Astrid, and noticed she wasn't there anymore. But it didn't matter.

He checked one last time that he had everything, put on his helmet, and then caught his coat, hung up behind the door. Hiccup's accidentally fell. He bent down, and noticed a piece of paper on the ground. He knelt, picked it up, and turned it over.

He stared at the Night Fury drawn on it. His anger was coming back out. The dragon was sitting, his eyes wide open, head bowed. Stoick couldn't determine why, but this drawing had something… unusual. The few times he had found himself in front of the animal, he hadn't caught that… thing… he could see at the moment. He observed the dragon more in detail. His head. His eyes. His… smile.

Yes, it almost looked like the dragon was smiling. His eyes were… different.

The pupil. It was the pupil. It was totally dilated, and this was giving him a kind of… harmless look.

Stoick wasn't aware of it, but for a second, he saw the dragon the way Hiccup was seeing it.

Then he remembered. He blinked, and shook his head. A lump in his throat, he angrily crumpled the parchment, and threw it in the fire. He had just lit it off because of his future absence, but the last glowing embers still managed to slowly burn the paper. Stoick stared at its edges going black and shrinking, and then he stood up, made his way to the door, and went out.

He had a dragon nest to destroy.


	13. I'm cold when you're not around

**XIII. I'm cold when you're not around**

Gobber checked one last time the Nadder was correctly tied, let go of his harness, and rubbed his hands. Stoick arrived at that moment and jumped onto their ship.

"Everything's okay?" the chief asked.

"Yes."

"You checked the catapults?"

"Done."

"Good."

Gobber nodded while Stoick was looking around him, making sure all the ships were ready. Then, he ordered, "Set sail! We head for Helheim's Gate."

All the Vikings moved together. While his ship was going away from the cost, Stoick dryly said to the dragon, "Lead us home, devil."

The Nadder moaned. Gobber looked at his eyes. He could read in it something unusual for a dragon. Fear. Which was almost making him forget about his ferocity. It wasn't the first time he noticed that. When they had captured the Night Fury, his gaze had shown the same frightened, almost imploring expression. He had never paid attention to this before. He thought he knew everything about those animals, but he had recently made observations questioning his knowledge. And Hiccup had something to do with it.

While the ship was sailing away, the blacksmith looked at the village one last time. He recognized the blond braid of Astrid, observing them from the higher wooden platform. Observing _him_.

No. Not him. The reptile right in front of him. She was staring at him. And the strangest thing was that the Nadder also seemed to be looking at her. Gobber successively observed Astrid, then the dragon, then Astrid and finally the dragon again. He was moving about, stretching his neck toward the girl. He tried to open his wings, move his tail, but the blacksmith had securely tied him. The Deadly Nadder quickly gave up, aware that he couldn't free himself.

Puzzled by the dragon's behavior, Gobber looked back at Astrid. But at such a distance, he couldn't see the feelings showing on her face. He shrugged and turned around, looking at the horizon.

He had never been so uncertain of the outcome of an expedition, yet he was used to the many failed attempts of Stoick trying to find the nest. But the immoderate determination and assurance the chief was showing at the moment scared him. He had told him everything – the discovery of the Night Fury's hideout, Hiccup's escape, and Astrid's revelations – and even if Gobber understood Stoick had decided to forget his son to care for the village, he couldn't help but worry about Hiccup. His father didn't seem to be concerned at all. The young Viking was puzzling him more and more, and his skepticism about his convictions was slowly being replaced by curiosity. At the beginning, during the dragon training final, he had really thought Hiccup was being totally thoughtless.

But his incredible stubbornness intrigued the blacksmith. Maybe Stoick's son wasn't as stupid as he seemed to be. Besides, Gobber had recently paid attention to things he wasn't aware of before Hiccup had showed them to him, especially in dragons' behavior. The boy seemed to have easily gotten ahead of him in only a few weeks. It was a bit hard for Gobber to question what their ancestors had said, but he had to admit the son of the chief might have discovered something which could definitely disrupt their organization.

But the problem was, Hiccup was he-didn't-know-where, and he himself was going to the dragon nest, to face a danger of which he was still ignoring the extent. He had no other choice but to follow his chief, as he had always done. Even though, unconsciously, his affection for Hiccup was slowly making him consider things differently.

* * *

Night was almost here. I was walking in an empty village. The only Vikings that hadn't gone to the nest were at home, most of them already in bed. The fresh air was blowing slightly over my skin, making me shiver from time to time. I was going to the forest.

And I was thinking about Hiccup.

When his father had told me he had left, I hadn't worried more than that, I thought it was only a little flight. Also, if Stoick had seen him flying away with Toothless, it was perfectly normal he was angry. It didn't mean Hiccup had definitely left.

But the night was falling, and his absence was starting to last a bit too long. Anxiety was overcoming me, I was afraid he had had a problem or something. It wasn't really the time to leave me. I needed him. He was the only one I knew who could settle the disaster I had caused. I felt so helpless… Stoick had left with the entire village, taking his people to a danger they wouldn't survive. And the Nadder was with them.

It was my fault. I had told him how to find the nest. But still, among all the dragons locked in the training arena, he had to choose the Deadly Nadder. Perhaps because after the Night Fury, it was the most clever species available. But the Terrible Terror was also a good one, and way less bulky. A Gronkle would have done too. But I could imagine whatever I wanted, they had chosen her. I had looked at her being tied and carried away, forced to lead the Vikings to the only thing she was scared stiff of. I had seen her imploring look begging me to help her. I had observed her going away, trying not to do anything that could show that we knew each other. Stoick already seemed angry enough with me; I didn't want to think about his reaction if he learnt that I had kind of a relationship with a dragon too.

I didn't know how much time had passed when I arrived at the cove. It wasn't completely dark, so I could still see, well enough to notice I wouldn't find what I wanted. On my rock above the huge hole, I carefully looked at the surroundings, hoping to see a dragon and a Viking. But they weren't there.

Okay, now I was seriously worried. If Hiccup didn't want to go home – I could understand this – I thought he might have stayed here with Toothless. I didn't think he would have returned to the village; he probably didn't want to leave his Night Fury now his dad knew he was alive, and the best place to hide with him was the forest. But besides that cove, I totally ignored where they could be. I hoped he had decided to hide somewhere else, in case his father would come here.

Yes. It must be this. Hiccup had searched for another place, to prevent his father from finding him. The problem was, he hadn't told me, and I didn't know if he was alright. I knew he was quite resourceful, but I was still worried. I needed to know he was okay.

I realized it was raining only once I was totally wet. I looked at the sky. Night had fallen. I had to go home, otherwise I would never be able to find my way through the forest. Slipping on the wet ground, I ran to the village. It wasn't that hard to find it. I was starting to know the way pretty well. But instead of going toward my house, my steps lead me to Hiccup's. I went in. The atmosphere was cold and not really hospitable. I shivered. I glanced at the top of the stairs, where I knew Hiccup's room was. The door was open. I slowly went upstairs, listening to the old wood creaking under my weight. I knew the room was empty even before I came in. But I needed to be sure. The vain hope of finding Hiccup in it was controlling my movements.

After I had confirmed what I already knew, I went downstairs, and decided to go home. While I was walking toward the exit, I saw Hiccup's fur jacket hung up behind the door. I opened this last and put a foot outside. Hesitated. Put it back inside. Caught the jacket and pressed it onto my face, breathing deeply. I found what I was looking for: the fur had kept his smell. Without thinking, I pulled it. Its touch on my wet skin immediately warmed me. I decided to keep it.

I ran under the rain to my house. Once in, I went directly to my room and collapsed onto my bed. My parents had left with the rest of the village, and I found myself alone. One more cause of worry. It wasn't directly my fault, however I couldn't help but feeling like I was sending my own parents toward a danger which might be fatal. All I needed was certainly not to lose them.

I sighed and curled up. I was feeling empty. Yes. Empty. I didn't want to do anything anymore. It wouldn't be useful, and anyway I didn't feel like I had enough strength. I was lying there, more worried than ever for my parents, my Nadder, Hiccup, the dragons and everyone, and I couldn't do anything.

It was my fault. If only I had kept quiet, the situation wouldn't be so desperate.

I didn't recognize myself. Astrid Hofferson never whined about her fate like that, nor complained about her misfortunes without even trying to fight against them. But a lot of things had changed lately. Starting with me.

I buried my head in the fur of my coat. Hiccup's smell came to my nose. I breathed once more, deeper. I closed my eyes, a smile on my face. I liked that smell so much. It reminded me a lot of things. It was really particular. Indescribable. Not good, neither bad. It was just… him. Hiccup.

I wanted to feel his body against mine. I wanted to be able to touch him. His hair, his skin. Take his hand. Put my lips onto his. He would look at me with his half-smile, and I would feel good. He would put his hands on me, and transmit me his warmth.

I suddenly realized where this big space inside me was coming from. It was because of him. His absence. It wasn't the same thing as usual. Usually, when he wasn't with me, I knew that he wasn't very far, or that he would come back soon, or that I could go and find him if I wanted. But now, I didn't know where he was. I didn't know if he was alright. I didn't know when he would come back. Was he even thinking about me right now? Wherever he was, whatever had happened to him, was he missing me, even just a little? I could still repeat to myself this must be the case, I could be sure. Besides, if he really cared about me, why hadn't he come back? I needed him. He was the only one able to fix the situation. He would know what to do.

But he wasn't here. He had left. He had fled.

_And he's right._ I thought.

I understood him. I wasn't sure I would have done the same, but I understood him. Though I couldn't help but feel a bit angry. He had left behind him this empty space I didn't know how to fill in. This empty space which had never been here before.

Before I fell in love.

* * *

Only speed could calm me down. So I was flying. Fast. Still faster. I was focusing on the violent touch of the wind through my hair and on my skin to avoid thinking. I was fleeing my father. I was protecting my dragon. And I was leaving Astrid. It wasn't all voluntary, but the majority had won the day. So I had left. I was leaving. Without thinking. It might not be the best thing to do, but it was the only one I was considering at the moment. I was slowly relaxing, little by little. I didn't know how long I had been flying, but it was doing me good, and nothing else mattered. It was my way to pass over all the anger I had inside me.

I must already be quite far from Berk. Far from my father. From the danger he was for Toothless. And far from Astrid too.

I shivered. The air was getting cold up there. I realized I hadn't brought my coat with me. I had probably forgotten it at home.

In front of me was the horizon. Behind me was the horizon. Above me were the clouds. Under me were the clouds. And inside me was the hate. Which the air whistling at my ears seemed to carry away with it.

So I was flying. Fast. Still faster. Only speed could calm me down.


	14. Absence

**XIV. Absence**

When I woke up the day after the Vikings had left for the dragons' nest, the smell of Hiccup's coat almost made me feel like he was with me. I closed my eyes, allowing myself a few more minutes of dreaming. I concentrated on his smell, and remembered the day I had woken up with him. That day when I had realized my first feelings for him. I had been scared. I had felt vulnerable, and I hadn't accepted them. Besides, I was still not really feeling at ease with all this. Hiccup on the other hand seemed to have been used to it for a long time.

"_I know, Astrid. I love you too."_ He had told me, looking at me straight in the eye.

I had been disconcerted by his frankness. He had shown me self-confidence I didn't know he possessed until that moment. Which I quite liked. When he was with me, I felt that he knew what he was doing. When I was lost in the middle of questions and uncertainties, he was there to guide me. Or at least, it looked like he was, and it was enough to reassure me.

All this had happened only three days ago. It seemed like weeks. So many things had happened since…

I felt my worries coming back, and suddenly sat up in my bed. I certainly wouldn't spend my day moping about my fate. Decided, I got up energetically. Even a bit too much. I waited for my head to stop spinning, put on my boots, and went downstairs. My parent's absence was making the house cold. I decided to go out. Once in front of the door, I realized I still had Hiccup's coat on me.

_How do you think you would justify this?_ I asked myself.

I took it off and laid it on a chair. Then, I went out and walked toward the Great Hall.

The smell of various foods came to my nostrils when I pushed open the big wooden doors. The adults who were staying in the village had to cook for everyone, and food was constantly available in the Great Hall. This system had at first been set up for children whose parents were gone for more than a day; to fish, or find the nowhere-to-be-found nest, but during more important expeditions like this one, everybody was using it. Villagers could then eat together, and feel less lonely, even if those who wanted could still stay at home and cook for themselves. For me, I didn't especially feel like seeing people nor talking, but our personal food stock was empty and I had to eat. However, sitting in front of my yak milk and my piece of bread, my tightened stomach didn't seem to be decided to let anything in. Actually, it was because I hadn't eaten anything since the day before that I thought I should fill in my stomach, but I wasn't really hungry.

I sighed and dipped the burnt crust of the bread in the milk, waiting for it to get softer. Tuffnut chose that moment to abruptly interrupt my thoughts, putting a full plate on the table. I started and my piece of bread fell into my milk. Ruffnut arrived and took some food in her brother's plate – whereas hers was full too – triggering one of their unbearable squabbles. I sighed again and stood up to get a spoon. When I came back, I noticed that Snotlout had invited himself too, taking a seat next to mine, _of course_. I sat down, trying to ignore him, and began to fish out my bread – which was henceforth only a shapeless mass of bread soaked with milk – in my glass. And when Fishlegs joined us, the moment I was dreading arrived; Snotlout started to talk to me.

"Hey, Astrid, how you doing? It's been a long time since we've seen each other."

"Five days." I said.

"That's what I said, it's been a long time. So, how are you?"

"Fine."

I hadn't found anything better to try to stop this conversation. But thankfully, while he was about to ask me who-knows-what else, Fishlegs cut in and asked:

"Does anyone know anything about the expedition?"

"They left to find the dragons nest." Ruffnut answered.

"Again?" her brother asked.

"Yeah, it looks like the chief found a sure way to find it." she confirmed.

"I bet they won't, it's always the same thing." Snotlout said. "When I'm older, I'll lead an expedition and kick those dragons in the pants, everyone will thank me."

"But this time, they're serious. I saw them taking the Deadly Nadder from the ring." the girl twin added.

I was absent-mindedly listening to their conversation, lost in admiration of the bread crumbs in my plate. While I was trying to make out any shape, like I sometimes did with clouds, a question of Snotlout called my attention.

"Someone know what's up with Hiccup?"

The Vikings all shook their heads.

"I think his dad was mad at him." Tuffnut said.

"Because of what he did with the Monstrous Nightmare." his sister added.

"He must have been punished or something." Tuffnut suggested.

"I always said he was crazy." made Snotlout. "But now his dragon is dead, he should have calmed down, and now we'll get some peace."

I hold my glass as tight as I could to avoid reacting. I had to control myself. After all, they didn't know Hiccup as well as I had learnt to.

"Yeah, weren't we supposed to get a feast out of this whole thing? What happened to that?" Ruffnut asked.

"I guess it's canceled because of the expedition." Snotlout answered.

I had had enough. They were taking things so casually that I wanted to shout that the situation was way more serious. But I had better be discreet.

"But still, don't you think Hiccup discovered something interesting?" Fishlegs asked. "You've all seen what he managed to do with the dragons, wasn't it amazing?"

_Finally, someone notices it_, I thought.

"I just saw that he brought us that Night Fury, and we got to kill it." Snotlout retorted. "Otherwise, the final was a disaster. He would have never overcome the Monstrous Nightmare."

"Still, he managed to do better than any of us." Fishlegs reminded. "He won the training."

"Luck." Snotlout retorted. "I'm pretty sure he didn't even want to win, he was just trying not to be eaten. You just have to see what he did at the final."

"You're just saying that because you're angry you didn't win." Ruffnut said.

"Everyone knows I'm a real Viking anyway. I don't need to prove anything."

I suddenly put my glass on the table, making a sound which stopped their conversation. Trying not to show too many feelings, I whispered an "I'm done", and then stood up and quickly left the Hall, under the puzzled looks of the four Vikings. It was already an exploit I hadn't shouted at them, so I didn't care about what they thought. I just wanted to leave.

Once out, I took a deep breath of fresh air. It relaxed me. A bit. I walked to the nearest beach, begging for it to be empty. It was. I sat down in the sand and stared at the sun reflecting in the sea until my eyes hurt. Then I closed them and lowered my head, putting it onto my knees which I had pulled up under my chin.

I wanted to join Hiccup. I didn't know where he was nor if his long absence was fully voluntary, but I wanted to be with him. If my Nadder was here, I would fly away with her, and search through the whole archipelago if I had to, to find Hiccup. I had never flown on my own with a dragon. But it shouldn't be that hard. Besides, the Nadder didn't have any prosthesis to control like Toothless, so I only had to find a way to make her understand where I wanted to go.

But it wasn't useful to think about that. She wasn't here, either. And I didn't want to tame another dragon. This needed time, and I didn't want to be noticed.

I took a pebble and made it roll between my fingers. Drew some random lines in the wet sand. Sighed. Made the letter H, and then angrily erased it by digging the sand, before throwing the pebble in the water.

I quite liked this beach. It was close to the village, but the rocks around it made it kind of an isolated place. When I was younger, my mother would often take me there. I would pick up shells and pile them up in our house, but I suspected my father of regularly put them back on the beach. So I would go there the next day, and pick up twice as many. If shells had any value, we would have been the richest family on Berk.

My heart sank. I was trying to convince myself that it wasn't affecting me more than that, but my parents' absence was actually a bit difficult to bear. Yes, I was used to spending a few days without seeing them, but this time, it was different. I wasn't exactly missing them, I was just very worried. The other times, I knew they wouldn't find the nest. No one was surprised anymore by all the failed attempts of the Viking chiefs to get to the island. But in this case, they had a guide. And I knew what they'd find there.

At the moment, they should be half-way to the nest. More or less. Stoick's plan seemed more elaborate than the previous times, so it hadn't been that hard to convince a lot of villagers to join the expedition. I knew all this because my parents had talked about it right before they had left. I had thought that one of them would stay with me, but they had decided that I was old enough and that I could, for once, be considered less important than the village. Besides, I was safe here, and not alone. Well, that was what they had told me as justification. Basically, they were right. But I was actually feeling incredibly useless. And above all, lonely. Snotlout and the others weren't real friends for me, or at least I didn't feel like confiding in them. And except them and my parents, there was no one I was really close to. If I didn't take into account a certain green-eyed Viking who had gone Thor-knew-where and didn't seem to be coming back.

* * *

Astrid suddenly put her glass on the table, making a sound which stopped the conversation of the four young Vikings. She whispered an "I'm done" and then stood up and quickly left the Hall. Four puzzled looks followed her until the big wooden door closed behind her.

"She's weird, isn't she?" Tuffnut said.

"Yeah, I don't know what's the matter with her, but she doesn't seem to feel too well." his sister answered.

"She's never been really talkative." Fishlegs remarked.

"Yeah, but she really seems to be in a bad mood today." Tuffnut retorted.

"I'm sure that's Hiccup's fault." Ruffnut said.

"What?" Snotlout asked. "You're talking nonsense. She doesn't care about him."

"As much as she doesn't care about you." the girl made. "Believe it or not, but I saw Hiccup going out of her house the other day."

"I'm sure he wasn't there for her." Snotlout said, offended.

"Really? Then who was he there for?" Ruffnut asked.

"Anyway, something's going on between those two." Her brother said.

"Sure. But that's still pretty weird. I mean, she was looking down on him, wasn't she? You all saw how she treated him during the training."

"And how she helped him during the final…" Tuffnut added.

"That's right. Something must have happened in between."

"I hope he's not going to drag her into his goddam stupid things." Snotlout said. "But I guess she's way too clever for that."

No one answered. Fishlegs had switched off since the beginning of the conversation. He didn't really like gossip. Ruffnut knew she was right, but since she was the only girl in the group, she gave up explaining to boys her point of view. Even if she wasn't very close to Astrid, she knew her well enough to be sure of what she had just said. But she didn't feel more concerned than that. Her brother either. Only Snotlout had been affected by the rapprochement of the two Vikings. It was already hard for him to catch Astrid's attention – despite all his attempts – but he bore even less seeing her liking another boy. Way less interesting, moreover. But his pride convinced him that all this wasn't as significant as the others thought. One day, she would come back to him, and even regret having gone away. She would definitely be his own. He trusted his Viking charm for that.

Even though it was precisely what put her off. But when Snotlout finally realized this, several generations would have already passed.

* * *

Two days. Two days since my parents had left with the rest of the village, to the dragon island. They would probably get there soon now. And find themselves in front of that huge beast which would swallow the villagers whole.

Two days I'd spent going around between my room and the Great Hall. I didn't even remember doing anything else but eating and sleeping. And waiting. I was firmly bored.

Two days since Hiccup and his dragon had disappeared. More than worry, I was seriously losing hope. And my mind was shouting at me that I had to, that I _could _do something. But I didn't find any strength inside me.

That's how I decided to go to bed, to start that night which would be the end of that second day of loneliness and boredom.

I comfortably put myself into bed, and then took back Hiccup's coat to fall asleep with his smell. I didn't know if all of this really made any sense, but it helped me sleep better, so I wasn't questioning. I pressed the fur onto my face. It was soft and nice. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes.

Nothing.

I breathed again.

Nothing.

I pressed my nose against the covers. I could smell it. The wood of the bed too. I even sniffed at the inside of my shoes. I _smelt_.

But on his jacket, nothing. The smell had left.

I knew all this was only superficial; nothing which had belonged to him or had on a sign of him would ever replace him. But at the moment, it was all I had from him. And I felt like I had definitely lost him from now on.

I nestled my head in the fur, holding my breath. I didn't want to feel the empty space which should have been filled in by his smell. I lifted it up only when my head started to spin. My right cheek was tickling. I opened my eyes, and only saw dark and blurred spots. I blinked, and realized I was crying when my tears overflew. I angrily threw Hiccup's coat on the floor, and fell onto my bed, a lump in my throat.

I was pathetic. But I had to recognize – and that was already progress in itself – that I was missing Hiccup way more than I wanted to admit.


	15. If only you knew

_**Hi there readers, thanks a lot for all your lovely reviews, this chapter answers some of your questions, about Hicstrid especially. I hope you'll like it :D**_

* * *

**XV. If only you knew…**

"HICCUP HORRENDOUS HADDOCK THE THIRD! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Astrid shouted.

The sun had just started rising; she had just woken up, and seen the Viking through the window of her room, walking peacefully in the village. The girl hurtled outside and rushed toward Hiccup. His smile was immediately erased when he saw Astrid's look. He was excepting a hug of relief or thoughtful words, but he only had a violent punch in his left shoulder. So violent that he found himself on the ground, gazing carefully up at a fulminating Astrid. She pushed him again – on his right shoulder that time – and aggressively said, "That's for leaving me without letting me know, you son of a half-troll! You can't! Why are you here? Since when?"

She took her breath. Hiccup was about to answer her questions, but she cut him off, shouting again.

"DO YOU EVEN HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE?"

The Viking gave up, and waited for her to finish what she had started. Astrid punched him for the third time – he would end up with holes in his clothes if she continued to force him to crawl on the ground like that – and stared at him with a look he found… scary. The girl then turned back and started to nervously walk around him.

"Hi Astrid, I'm happy to see you too!" Hiccup muttered without really addressing her.

"What? What are you saying?" she made.

"Me? Nothing." He innocently answered.

He sat up. Looking around him, he was surprised to notice that nobody had looked out of their house to identify the origin of the morning racket they were making. Already when he had arrived, the atmosphere had seemed weirdly quiet to him, but he had thought that the Vikings must still be asleep. But now that Astrid had shouted loud enough to wake up to entire village, he found it really strange that no one had come to see what was happening, especially as Vikings were quite curious.

Putting his questions off until later, he turned his attention to the girl. She had fallen silent, looking like she was wondering whether she would continue shouting at him or not. She finally decided to bring the conversation – if there had even been one – back to the first reason of her anger.

"You owe me explanations you know. Your health depends on it." she threatened, leaning over him.

Hiccup only needed a few seconds to decide. He was a bit intimidated, but also used to the girl's character. That's why he firmly put his hand on her back, making her fall on him before she had time to react. He held her tight against him to avoid her struggling, and made her eat her words by sticking his lips on hers. The Viking wanted to protest, but Hiccup made her roll on the ground and used his weight, quite limited but still sufficient to immobilize her, the surprise effect being in his favor. Both to prevent her from replying and because his desire told him to, he pressed his mouth against hers, and waited for her muscles to relax, meaning she had given up.

Indeed, after several useless punches and kicks and some annoyed moans, Astrid limply let herself lie on the ground. Hiccup couldn't help but smile, though he didn't stop kissing her. Delicately letting go of one of her arms, he put his hand to the girl's face. She didn't react. Hiccup was realizing how much he had missed all this during the few days he had been away, how much he needed to feel her next to him. The young girl had also noticed the same thing, and even ended up kissing him back, slightly parting her lips. Hiccup's heart skipped a beat when he felt their tongues getting closer. He dared to delicately pass his between her lips. A shiver of desire went through his body.

And Astrid chose that moment to violently clamp her jaws. Suddenly brought back to reality, the boy opened his eyes, letting out a cry of pain stifled by their mouths still stuck. He stood up at the same time as Astrid, who pushed him away. He had a nasty ferrous taste in his mouth. He put a finger on his tongue, and found it covered with a mix of saliva and blood. He swallowed, giving a black look to Astrid.

"You bit me!" He said, as if he needed to make it clear.

"I know." she curtly answered.

She wiped her mouth with her hand, looking at him with a disgusted face. She had been more cunning than him, and the Viking realized her anger seriously seemed to be more important than what he had thought.

"I want you to understand that everything can't be solved with a kiss." She calmly but firmly said, as if she was addressing to a child. "You don't think that's enough to forgive what you've done, do you?"

Hiccup didn't answer immediately, a bit disturbed by the tone of her voice. He really didn't think she would take it so badly, especially since she ignored what had happened and would certainly react differently if she knew it. But for that, she had to give him a chance to speak. And it wouldn't be that easy.

"I wasn't trying to be forgiven or anything," the Viking tried to justify, "I only wanted to calm you down and… show you I had missed you."

He had talked fast, too fast, but he was afraid to be interrupted and he wanted to say what he had to say.

"I'm happy to know that." Astrid spat out. "Apparently, it wasn't enough for you to come back."

"But… Astrid, I'm here! I'm back! How can you say I didn't miss you while I'm here, in front of you? You don't even know what happened to me!"

He had raised his voice. He wanted to avoid any argument, but Astrid's behavior was a bit getting on his nerves. He had just spent three horrible days, he didn't really need the only person he trusted in the village to turn against him too.

"BUT I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU, CAN YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?" Astrid shouted again. "YOU LEAVE LIKE THAT, WITHOUT TELLING ANYONE, WITHOUT TELLING _ME_, YOU DISAPPEAR FOR THREE DAYS AND YOU COME BACK AS IF EVERYTHING WAS NORMAL?"

_Okay, if no one immediately rushes to see what's happening, I can believe the village's empty_, Hiccup thought.

"Astrid, please, let me explain to you at least!" The Viking begged, nervously looking around him. "I never intended to leave, well at least not for as long as I did, but everything didn't happen as I thought it would…"

Astrid swallowed and took a deep breath. She was a bit shivering. She had tears in her eyes, but she wasn't crying. She wouldn't cry.

The two teenagers were quietly staring at each other, both thinking about what they'd say. But their thoughts were interrupted by whispers coming from the nearest house. They turned round at the same time, looking for the origin of the noise, and saw shadows moving behind a wall. Someone let out a not very discreet swearword, and noises of steps followed.

The twins came out from the dark, and then Snotlout. Visibly, they didn't agree about the best behavior; Snotlout seemed to be in favor of a discreet escape, while Tuffnut and his sister preferred the I-was-passing-by-there-by-chance, which actually consisted in walking as innocently as possible and trying to find information about what was going on. The three Vikings went past Hiccup and Astrid with a feigned indifference, and then disappeared behind another house. But the fact that they had stayed hidden to be able to hear more wasn't a secret for anyone, therefore Astrid firmly grabbed Hiccup's wrist and dragged him in a more quiet place.

"Aargh, they're going now! Very clever!" Ruffnut grumbled.

"You couldn't shut up?" her brother said.

"But that wasn't me! That's Snotlout, he got himself nervous."

"You didn't have to hit him to keep him quiet. It's your fault we got caught."

The girl gave her brother's helmet a hard tap, and Tuffnut reacted by pulling one of her braids. In this growing fight, Snotlout sighed.

"I don't understand why she still talks to him…"

Ruffnut stopped her puches a few seconds, and retorted, "You call that talking? She was rather bawling him out. And not by halves."

"What was that about by the way?" Tuffnut asked, giving up the fight too. "It was like she was angry with him because he had left or something…"

"I don't know, she said she was worried, you know what it means." The girl answered.

"Anyway, I hope she's giving him hell." Snotlout said.

"We can't know that, and that's because of you." Ruffnut retorted.

The Viking shrugged and went in the opposite direction of the one Hiccup and Astrid had just taken.

"I'm hungry anyway. You coming?" he asked.

"Yeah, we're coming." Tuffnut said. "Just let me deal with something first."

Then he jumped on his sister, and rammed her helmet on her head, starting again their fight where it had stopped.

Snotlout sighed and began to walk toward the Great Hall without waiting for the twins. He was sure he had heard Astrid talking about a kiss when they had arrived, but at the moment she hadn't been shouting and Ruff and Tuff's whispering had prevented him from hearing what they were saying. The only thing he had understood was that the girl was angry with Hiccup, and whatever it was about it was making him feel happy.

* * *

"Astrid, I swear I'll explain to you, but before I do, I absolutely have to do something."

The girl was dragging Hiccup to her house, turning a deaf ear to his protests. But the Viking was determined to be heard.

"Please, it's very important, I absolutely have to go to the forge before my father or someone else sees me, it's about Toothless' life."

Saying this, he suddenly freed his arm from Astrid's hand, and started to run toward the forge. But the Viking stepped in, even though Hiccup's words and his begging tone were starting to make her hesitate. The boy looked at her straight in the eye, and frankly said, "You can be mad at me, but this is urgent, so if you don't mind I'll first deal with this, and then, we'll talk, and I'll tell you everything."

He had voluntarily used a quite calm tone, which was a bit opposite to the actual emergency. Astrid seemed to hesitate, but she didn't move. Hiccup didn't have time; he knew that his dragon was waiting for him on the edge of the forest, and that someone could find him at any moment. He wished he could have kept him with him, but it would have only been more risked for him. He tried one last time to convince Astrid, "Listen, his prosthetic tail has a problem, that's why I couldn't come back earlier, and I really have to take a tool at the forge to be able to fix it. Toothless is in the woods, alone and unable to fly, and I remind you he's supposed to be dead; the only persons except you and I who knows he's alive want to kill him. So be nice, let me go, I'll answer your questions later."

He didn't even wait until he finished talking, and quickly walked around Astrid and started to run. The girl shouted something he didn't understand, but she didn't seem to follow him. Relieved, Hiccup went faster, and looked around him, praying the gods to not meet his father or Gobber. But the village was still quiet. Actually, it even seemed to be empty. It was better this way, and anyway, it wasn't his first preoccupation. Once in front of the forge, he went in carefully, making sure it was empty. He supposed that his father had informed Gobber he had fled, and he didn't know what he would do if he learnt he was back. Doubtful, he preferred to be discreet.

Once the blacksmith's absence had been confirmed, Hiccup went to the worktop where he thought he would find what he was looking for. A metal piece of Toothless' harness had been twisted and was now disturbing his control on the prosthetic tail. He had already noticed this during the flight right after he had learnt his dragon wasn't dead, three or four days before (he had lost all sense of time), and he was supposed to fix it the morning after.

Except that when he went to the forge that day, he had overheard his father and Gobber talking, and the choice between seeing Toothless risking falling or risking dying had been fast to make. So, he had flown away without having time to get the tool he needed. It has caused a few problems, but at least his dragon was safe and sound.

Hiccup finally found the tool, made sure he didn't need anything else, quickly tidied the worktop and made his way to the exit. However, when he briefly looked around him, he noticed something unusual. He observed better, and simply realized the forge was empty. Except some tools and useless objects, there weren't any weapons anymore, whereas they were usually piling up on the worktops and even ended up mounting on the floor sometimes.

_Something happened while I was away_, the Viking thought.

He had already had this feeling when he had arrived here. He deduced that the village wasn't empty because of the early hour – which wasn't very early anymore now anyway – but because it was really desolate. Well, if Snotlout and the twins weren't taken into account.

Hiccup didn't know what he should think about that. He ignored where the villagers had gone, but he had a really bad feeling. The Vikings wouldn't organize such an important departure for nothing. And his father being the chief, he couldn't help but thinking that it was, in some way, connected to him.

_They haven't gone after me, have they?_ The Viking wondered. _All those weapons they took… that's not… for me and Toothless? Is it?_

But his father had done more than one insane thing these last days.


	16. Explanations

**XVI. Explanations**

"Toothless? Toothless! It's me, come here."

Hiccup had gone back in the woods right after he had left the forge, and was finding back his dragon, relieved. Now he knew the village was desolate – he had verified it on his way – it was way less risky for him, but he could never be too careful.

The Night Fury came toward his friend, who gently stroked him. Then he began to fix his dragon's tail, under the puzzled but kind look of the animal.

"Wait here, I'll put that thing back, and afterwards we'll get Astrid." Hiccup said when he had finished. "I think I've already exploited her patience a bit."

The dragon nodded and sat down in the grass, while his friend ran back to the village. A bit less careful now that he was sure Gobber and his father had left, Hiccup paid more attention to his speed than his discretion. He quickly put back the tool on the worktop, went out right after, and met up with Toothless.

"You know what we have to do." he told him, climbing on his back.

The dragon flew up, located Astrid the moment he passed over the trees – she was in front of her house, looking toward the forge – swooped down, caught her by the shoulders and immediately went back to the forest.

"HICCUP!" the girl shouted. "GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!"

The Viking smiled. Toothless flew to the top of a fir tree and let go of Astrid, who held on to its branches. Then the dragon stood on the tree, which bent dangerously with his weight. Hiccup looked at the girl and told her, "You have to give me a chance to explain…"

"I am not list-" Astrid started.

She stopped when she saw Hiccup was smiling. The boy stretched his hand and exaggeratedly supplied her.

"Please, Astrid."

The girl had a strong feeling of déjà-vu. Then she remembered, and couldn't help but let a smile cross her lips, knowing she was losing all her credibility since she was suddenly going from a towering rage to a simple smile. She caught Hiccup's hand and sat behind him on Toothless.

"Will you forget your anger for a second and let me explain?" he asked.

Astrid sighed. Her situation was totally absurd. She was angry at Hiccup whereas she had just smiled to him, allowing him to give her the explanations she wanted from the beginning but the boy hadn't given her at first, and that he was now begging her to listen whereas she wanted to hear them.

_This doesn't make any sense_, the Viking thought, nodding, as they were flying up above the forest.

Hiccup took advantage of this flight to check that the tail worked well. It did. He led his dragon to an isolated place of the island, for the Night Fury to be safe, but also to be sure no one would bother them. He wanted to be alone with Astrid. Even if it wasn't a priority at the moment, he had missed her, and he wanted to make up for lost time. He couldn't help but keep that idea in his mind.

After a few minutes flying, the three landed in a little clearing at the end of the island.

Astrid walked down first, followed by Hiccup who caught her and took her hand. But even though the girl seemed to hesitate, she finally refused the contact and freed her arm. Hiccup swallowed and decided to not try anything else before he had made sure she wasn't angry at him anymore; the incident in the village still stuck in his throat and he was no longer sure he could predict her reactions.

"Okay, Astrid, I know I have to explain," he started. "But I'd also like to ask you something before."

Hearing this, the girl wanted to interrupt him, but Hiccup was expecting it and continued without giving her time to speak.

"Where are the others? I mean, why is the village empty?"

Astrid nervously swallowed, trying to not show anything on her face.

"That's a long story, but I want to hear yours first." she said as firmly as she could.

She didn't want to confess to Hiccup her degree of culpability – way too important for her – in the thing. Not at the moment at least. Even if she knew he would learn it, she preferred to defer this moment as much as she could.

The boy gave in, deciding she had waited long enough.

"Okay, ask me whatever you want, I'll answer."

"Where have you been?" Astrid directly asked.

"Nowhere."

_That's off to a good start…_ the Viking thought.

"Well I mean, when I left with Toothless, that was on impulse, I didn't know where I was going nor for how much time, I just… needed to leave." Hiccup continued.

"But… why? Is that about your dad?"

"Yes."

"Hiccup, what happened?"

"He… he lied. From the beginning, he's been lying."

He had a lump in his throat. Toothless, who was sitting not far from him, stood up and came closer to his friend to comfort him. Hiccup stroked his head and carried on, talking to Astrid.

"You know, I told you Toothless' tail had a problem? Well that morning, I was at the forge to fix it. But my dad was already there with Gobber, and they were talking… about me."

"And…?" Astrid encouraged him.

"And they were talking about finding Toothless and killing him."

"Wait, what? You mean your father knew Toothless was alive?"

Hiccup nodded. He wanted to end his explanations, but Astrid did it for him.

"And that means… he made you believe he had killed him to avoid you trying to find him?"

Hiccup nodded again.

"He was looking for him in the forest, and was about to go back to it, that's why I didn't question myself, I directly went to the cove… to protect Toothless."

Astrid was starting to understand. She had never imagined such a thing. She was feeling a bit guilty at having been mad at Hiccup, while he certainly had other preoccupations than her and her stupid girl-in-love's grudge.

"And your dad followed you…" she added.

"Yes. Wait, how do you know that?" Hiccup asked.

"I… That's… right after, the same day, I was looking for you, and… I found him." Astrid answered. "He told me you had left."

"How was he?"

"Worried. Angry. He looked a bit lost too, as if everything was suddenly out of his control."

"That's actually what happened."

Silence. Astrid was hardly taking those revelations. She thought about what she had told Stoick, and felt even more shameful. Thinking she was definitely being a coward, she once more avoided the subject.

"And why did it take you so long to come back?"

"Problem with Toothless' tail, I told you. It jammed while we were flying, and I didn't manage to release it. Thankfully, we were flying over an archipelago, and I made us crash on an island, otherwise I wouldn't be here now."

So that was it. Astrid told herself that finally, she had been right to worry.

"But how did you manage to come back then?"

"I did what I could with what I had."

He had managed to block the bent metal rod with branches and string he had taken from his bag; the system was quite unsteady but it was enough to allow them to get back to Berk.

"So you never intended to flee?"

It was only half of a question, Astrid just wanted to confirm that what she had feared was really wrong. But Hiccup's hesitation revived her doubts.

"Not really…" he started.

"What do you mean?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I didn't think, that's all. I wanted to put as much distance as I could between my dad and Toothless."

The silence after this sentence lasted several minutes. Hiccup sighed and sat on the ground, and then put his head against his dragon lying beside him. He felt tired. His mind had been focused on his return to Berk, then on the fixing of the tail, and finally on his explanations to Astrid. Now that he had told everything, and that the girl seemed to have forgotten her anger, his exhaustion was coming back.

During those three days he had spent on this unknown island, he almost hadn't slept at all; he was way too preoccupied by his precarious situation. Hopefully, Toothless had found some food on the island; the boy had eaten the bread he had brought in his bag and some fishes he had taken from his dragon's. He had survived. Strangely, he couldn't even remember what he had done the rest of the time. But it didn't matter anymore.

Still standing up, Astrid slowly came closer to the boy and the dragon collapsed in the grass.

"Hiccup… I'm really sorry." She said, and she felt like she had interrupted a silent dialogue between the two friends.

"That's OK, I don't have enough strength anymore to be mad at you anyway." the boy answered.

"If I had known… I shouldn't have been angry at you without waiting for your explanations."

"I guess it showed you really missed me…"

Astrid felt like crying. She was the one who had been wrong all the time, and he wasn't even mad at her, while she had just made a scene for nothing.

"I think that's why I was so angry." she said, sitting next to him.

"I already knew that."

They didn't know who took the hand of the other first. Astrid leaned over, and put her head on Hiccup's shoulder. He suddenly remembered something.

"Hey, I still don't know why the village's empty…"

That was it. It had to happen. Astrid had been putting back this moment, thinking it was better, but finally it was even worse, she was going to ruin a moment which could have ended well, very well. But Hiccup had the right to know. She lifted up her head, mustered all her courage, and went on.

"Well… Let's say some things also happened in the village while you weren't there."

_How can I say that, how can I say that, how can I say that?_

"You know, I told you I had a little talk with your dad, when he told me you had left."

"Yeah. So what?"

_What's happening to you, Astrid? What are you afraid of? You're putting yourself in a situation of weakness!_

"We didn't only talk about that. We kind of changed the subject, and… He learnt that… that we knew Toothless was alive, and…"

Astrid fell silent. Saying this, she had just realized Stoick had reprimanded her because Hiccup and she had been keeping secrets, while he was lying to her. It wasn't Hiccup and her who had kept a secret the non-death of Toothless, but the opposite.

"He actually got a bit angry at me…" the girl continued. "And he said I shouldn't follow you in your idiocies or something like that…"

"My dad really did say that?"

"Hiccup, I'm sorry."

"I knew I wasn't very high in his esteem, but still…"

The sorrow in his gaze dampened Astrid in her explanations. She didn't want to make it worse.

"But all this still doesn't explain why the village's empty." the boy said as if he had read in her mind.

"The problem is that I stood up for you. You father kept devaluing you, I couldn't help it, I had to try to explain him and open his eyes!"

"Astrid, what did you do?" Hiccup asked.

She kept justifying, and it was giving Hiccup a really bad feeling. Expecting the worse, the boy almost unconsciously took his hand away from the girl's.

"It's not my fault," she said, still avoiding to clearly answer the question, "I was trying to explain, and the subject went on the dragons… I couldn't help… I had enough of him considering you useless."

"Astrid, what did you tell him?"

"I talked about the dragon island…" she admitted, hanging her head. "But he pretended you were on the enemies' side, I wanted to make him understand, about the dragons, I swear I thought… I didn't want what happened!"

As the girl was profusely justifying herself, Hiccup had stood up, and started to walk around in the clearing, under the puzzled look of his dragon. Each time he thought the situation couldn't be worse, another event was immediately coming to prove him he was wrong. He had had enough of all those problems persecuting him.

"So they're all going there aren't they?" he asked. "Cause I suppose that you didn't do it by halves, you _also_ told him he needed a dragon to guide him?"

"Yes, I… They took the Nadder."

Hiccup kept quiet for a couple of seconds, time for him to take what he had just learnt. Astrid was afraid about his reaction. She was feeling extremely shameful, but it was too late. She was ready to do anything to help Hiccup, but she wasn't sure it would be enough.

"The Nadder… _your_ Nadder?" the boy asked.

"Yes."

"You know what? It serves you right."

The harshness of this sentence and the gaze he gave her after was way worse than any scolding she had prepared herself to suffer.

"Hiccup, please, I've been twisting my brain for three days, I don't know what to do, my parents are there, they'll find themselves in front of that monster, they'll all be killed, my dragon too! We have to do something!"

"_We_? While I was starving on an island, you were quietly waiting for me to return to help you? You got yourself in this situation on your own, Astrid."

He was right. That was the worst part of it.

"Let me tell you something: I've had enough problems recently, in case you hadn't noticed." Hiccup carried on. "But now, my dragon is safe, with me, and there's no one there I care enough about to want to help them."  
_Not even my father…_

But this was too painful to be said.

Hiccup took a breath. Astrid knew what he was trying to say. She didn't want to admit he was considering it, even if she could basically understand him. And the Viking confirmed her fear.

"You know I could go away with Toothless, live my life somewhere else, and leave you here with your problems? Nothing connects me here anymore, my dad is definitely mad at me – you just have to see what he has done with Toothless – and anyway, no one around here believes in me."

The Viking had already thought about going away several times. When he had despite himself won the dragon training, seeing himself forced to kill one in front of the entire village whereas he perfectly knew he couldn't; and more recently, when he had flown away right after the revelation of his father's lie. Deep inside him, he was sure him and Toothless could live their life somewhere else. But despite the threats he had just uttered on Astrid, he knew he wouldn't leave. Because this future battle between the Vikings and the dragon Queen was his last chance to prove his father what he was worth, and he didn't totally reject the idea of finally being accepted by his tribe and considered as a true Viking.

"I believe in you." the girl said, interrupting his thoughts. "And I thought it was important for you."

Hiccup knew she had said this to make him react. And he didn't want to give her satisfaction. He curtly answered, "Actually, after what you've told me, I'm not about that sure anymore."

Only when he saw the tears coming into her eyes, he realized what he had really said. He didn't think it at all. First, he loved her. And second, she had just given him the possibility to be heard by his father, as dangerous the circumstances were. He tried to modify his answer, adding "Even if it's what keeps me here…".

Okay. Astrid was definitely lost. Hiccup was violently playing with her feelings. She didn't even know anymore how she was supposed to feel. Angry, happy, relieved, afraid, worried, grateful? So many opposite feelings rushing inside her. Lost, all she found to do was following her instinct. Which pushed her into Hiccup's arms. Surprised, the Viking didn't react immediately, but then finally let himself go and put his head on Astrid's shoulder, holding her tight against him.

The teenagers hugged each other for a long time, under the attentive look of Toothless who was staring at them, thinking that those human beings were definitely way too complicated.


	17. We have to go

_**Hi everyone! I know the publication has been going a little slow those days, but it'll get faster from now on.**_

_**Thanks to everyone who favorited/followed/left a review, I'm sorry about the little OOC I made in the last chapter (with Hiccup getting angry), I thought it was an interesting thing to do, despite his usual character. People change you know. Anyway, here's the continuation of the thing, hope you'll like it :)**_

* * *

**XVII. We have to go**

After two days of sailing, the Vikings were finally getting to Helheim's Gate and its huge mist surrounding the dragon island. It had never lifted – or at least they hadn't known about it – and was making impossible any fast ship operation, since huge rocks were hiding in it. In the best case, the Vikings were turning around inside it and finally got lost or went out of the cloud without damage, frustrated not to have found anything but relieved to be safe. But in the worst case, they were finding themselves in front of one or several dragons which stopped them, and once again they were relieved when they managed to stay alive, since quickly escaping was impossible.

Stoick's ship at the front, the Vikings penetrated into the cloud. The chief was confident, and the rest of the sailors had this invariable determination mixed with a fear they didn't admit since it was considered unworthy of a Viking.

"Sound your positions!" ordered Stoick. "Stay within earshot!"

A murmur followed his words like an echo, as each Viking was telling the information to the closest ship. Gobber went to his chief and told him, "Listen, Stoick, I was overhearing some of the men and, well, some of them are wondering what it is we're up to here. Not me of course, I know you're always the man with the plan, but some are wondering if there is in fact a plan at all, and what it might be?"

"Find the nest and take it." the chief answered, more concentrated on the dragon than on the worries of his men.

"Of course! Send them running, the old Viking fallback! Nice and simple…

"Shhh!" Stoick cut him off.

He had noticed the Nadder was starting to move, nervously wagging its tail and shaking his wings as much as he could. The chief went to the back of the ship and took over the controls. The dragon stretched his neck, as if it was attracted by something Stoick couldn't feel. Was it a smell, a noise, or only the animal instinct? Anyway, he lead the ship in the direction the dragon was looking. The bend was followed by an echo of voices telling "Bear to port!", and the rest of the ships followed the movement. The sailing continued this way for several minutes, the Vikings trusting in Stoick trusting in the dragon trusting in his senses.

* * *

"Shhh, Toothless! Please keep quiet!" I whispered to my dragon.

I pulled his harness to take him with me in my house, and quickly closed the door behind us.

"Give me time to get ready, and afterwards we'll catch up with Astrid to go… you-know-where."

He nodded and lay on the floor. I walked over the room, searching through our food stock to find something to eat. All I found was three fish with a doubtful freshness, some slices of bread, and a piece of meat I couldn't determine the origin since it was worm-eaten. I got rid of it with a disgusted look, and considered the fish. Toothless lifted up his head, certainly attracting by the smell, and stared at me, begging. I gave him two fish, which he swallowed in barely two seconds. I decided to cook the third one, because despite the short time, I needed to eat, and I didn't want to risk being sick because of a stupid fish.

I went to the fireplace, and was about to light a fire, but I saw a half burnt crumpled parchment in the middle of the ashes. Puzzled, I knelt and carefully took it. Only its edges had been carbonized, the rest of it was almost intact. I unfolded it.

Stared at it.

And understood. My father had searched. Had found it. Had burned it. Well, he had tried, since the flames hadn't done it whole. And I could bet that when he had thrown it in the fire, he had hoped that Toothless wasn't only burning on that piece of parchment.

* * *

"Wow… That's not really encouraging…" Stoick heard some Vikings say when they passed next to a ship hung up they-didn't-know-how-high above the water.

"I was wondering where that went…" Gobber said when he saw it.

Ignoring their remarks, Stoick was still concentrated on the dragon guiding him. Suddenly, the Deadly Nadder started moving more and more violently, showing a growing nervousness. Through the mist, the Vikings could see a kind of mountain, and soon after, the first ship – Stoick's – touched the ground.

"Stay low and ready your weapons."

He went to the front of his ship, carefully looking at what he supposed to be the so-called island he had been looking for, for a long time. All he could see for the moment was a huge rocky mountain of which he couldn't see the top because of the mist, bordered by a pebble beach. A worrying murmur was resounding around them, and Stoick saw a red tail – probably a Monstrous Nightmare's – disappear the second after, between the rocks.

"We're here." the chief said.

He was feeling their presence. This mount was their refuge; they must all be inside it. Called by his revengefulness, Stoick was feeling an intense excitation growing inside him. The final fight was coming, he knew it. The moment he jumped from his ship and stood on the ground covered in volcanic stones, the murmur stopped. The silence which replaced it was even more disturbing. The atmosphere was incredibly strained, attesting to the danger lurking quietly deep inside the mountain the Vikings were about to destroy.

* * *

"Hiccup? Hiccup, wake up! This is not the time to sleep!"

Those words came to my ears like a far, unreal murmur. Someone was touching my shoulder. I moaned.

"Come on, move on!"

Someone was shaking me. Hardly emerging, I finally opened my eyes. I was at home, flopped onto the table, a plate with leftover fish in front of me. And an Astrid looking at me reprovingly. I sat up, and felt something under my hand. Paper. I pulled away the half-carbonized drawing of Toothless and rubbed my eyes.

"Sorry," I apologized, "I… I don't even remember falling asleep."

"Okay, I know you're tired, but… we have more important things to deal with first, I think."

"Yeah, I know, we can go."

I stood up, my memories slowly coming back to my clouded mind. I was back in Berk. I had fixed Toothless' prosthetic tail. I had explained everything to Astrid. Then… I had decided to go to the dragon island. With Astrid. More than save her parents and her Nadder, I especially wanted to make myself heard. I wasn't really proud to ended up using the desperate situation of the Vikings, but I didn't have the choice. I had to go there.

I took a step forward. And struck the table corner. I staggered, swearing, and Astrid caught me right before I would have fallen. She put me in front of her, holding my shoulders, and looked at me straight in the eye. I couldn't help but yawning.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to do that but…" she started.

Until her words came to my mind, her hand had already cleaved through the air to violently hit my cheek. It gave me a start, and I stepped back, almost falling again. I raised my hand to my stinging cheek. At least, I could think clearly now.

"Happy to see that you still have energy." I said to Astrid. "You'll need it."

She smiled, and I smiled back. Then I shook my head, and took the bucket of water next to the fireplace to pour it in it. Then I put it on the table, and checked I had my flight equipment with me.

"Ready?" I asked Astrid.

"I… yes."

"You'll remember what I told you?" I asked.

"About flying with a dragon? No problem, I'll manage."

I had taught her some basic reflexes while we were coming back from the forest. I didn't know the Deadly Nadder as well as Toothless, but there were still some rules I thought would work for any dragon.

"You remember what we said, eh?" I asked again. "No crazy things, once we get the Nadder, you fly wherever you want but away from the danger, I prefer to deal with the rest on my own."

"Yes, I remember, Hiccup, that'll do…" she sighed.

I nodded and went toward the door. Toothless stood up and was about to follow me, but Astrid held me back. I stopped.

"Hiccup…" she whispered.

She suddenly seemed hesitant. I gave her a questioning look.

"Before we leave, I have to tell you… if ever it turns bad, over there…"

"It won't turn bad." I cut in, taking her hand. "We have each other, and I have Toothless."

The dragon made what seemed to be an approving growl.

"Yeah, I know," she answered, "but you were with me when we went to the nest, you saw it, this huge… thing. I know we can settle things, but I also know it's very dangerous. And I…"

She took a breath. She was right. The danger was real. And the worry was sweeping over me too, even if I was trying to not let it take the upper hand on my determination.

"I don't want anything bad to happen to you or Toothless, only because I blundered. I swear I'll think about it my whole life if…"

"Nothing bad will happen to us." I cut in again. "Anyway, I'll do everything possible. _We_ will do everything possible."

"I… I don't want to lose you only because Sto… your dad took my parents and the Nadder with him, because of me."

I looked at her. Her eyes were showing the worry mixed with guilt inside her.

"Listen, Astrid," I tried to reassured her, "I'm not only going there for you, to save your parents and the… your dragon. I'm also going there for me. To show them all that I was right, I've always been right."

Saying this, I realized that presented that way, my motivation had somewhat selfish. Even if at the end, the aim was to save the village, I was only doing this for me and my pride. But I was so done being considered a nobody, especially by my father, that I certainly wouldn't miss the opportunity to shout to the world that I was able to accomplish great things too, if only anyone deigned to believe in me.

Astrid nodded and looked down. I put my hand on her cheek and gently lifted up her head. Our gazes met. And I joined our smiles by kissing her.

She kissed me back without any hesitation. I caressed her arms and went up until her shoulders, and then caught her neck. Intensified the movements of my lips. I was trying to put in it everything words couldn't describe. And I even felt like Astrid was answering me.

Encouraged by this kiss even more intense than the previous ones, I dared to progressively open my mouth. So did she. I thought about the kiss of our reunion, right after she had bitten me. The sensation of our tongues getting closer made my heart skip a beat. Even several beats. And when they finally touched, I officially lost any control.

I ran my hands along Astrid's back, and then held her against me. I could feel tingles running through my whole body. I was warm. Astrid put her hand on my neck, and passed it through my hair. I was feeling as I had never felt before. I didn't know what I was doing anymore. I only knew I loved her, and that was enough to guide my movements.

It was the first time since I knew him that I caught myself wanting Toothless to not be here. Especially when his warm breath on my neck and his constant growls forced me to let go off of Astrid.

"Oh, come on, you're not jealous, are you?" I told my dragon.

Astrid laughed. I sighed and walked toward the door.

"Come on, we have to go."

I didn't even know if I had addressed Astrid or Toothless, but the two moved forward at the same time. My dragon passed the door first, followed by Astrid. Once out, we both sat on my Night Fury's back, and she wrapped her arms against my waist, holding me tight.

"You know where we're going." I told Toothless.

He flew up and rushed toward the ocean. I suddenly felt really nervous. I tried to forget and concentrated on Astrid's hands on me and the air on my face.

We gained altitude. The higher we would fly, the faster the trip would be. And time was precious. Each second passing by was making Vikings come closer to the death. And us come closer to them.


	18. Free

_**Hi there lovely readers :)) Thanks a lot for your support, here's the next chapter.**_

_**Oh, and just a point before you start reading: this fic only considers the movie, so when at one point I talk about Berk as the only inhabited island, I didn't take into account the Outcast island or anything seen in the TV or book series. Or if you prefer it that way, you can consider that they're not part of the Berk archipelago itself, only some islands too far from it to be said as a part of it. Anyway.**_

_**Also, as the second movie is coming, and a lot of spoilers with it, I just want to say that there won't be anything related to it in that fic, everything I'll add to the story comes from my mind, so you don't have to worry about being spoiled. Just so you know ^^**_

* * *

**XVIII. Free**

Berk. Only inhabited island of a whole archipelago located in the middle of the ocean. Well, humanly inhabited. Birds, insects and mammals were living on the other islands. Except one. An island already quite hostile, which became even more so when the first inhabitants set up there. An island which was actually the top of a huge volcano, the rest being under the ocean. An island without any vegetation on it, only various rocks. The only thing you could find there if you dug a bit was molten lava. And only unusual creatures had dared to set up there. Dragons.

But as previously said, the island didn't have any food. And despite their quite… different nature than other animals, the flying reptiles needed to eat to survive. So they had to look for food somewhere else.

Everything could have kept going that way, the dragons living in their volcano and taking food in the ocean and on the other wild islands. No need to attack humans. But the colony group had among its dragons a quite special one. He was already the size of an adult Monstrous Nightmare at his birth, and his growth made him become the hugest dragon ever. Which, because of the constant balance of power reigning in the animal world, made him kind of a chief. The problem being that this creature had stayed inside the volcano during the first half of his life, taking advantage of his status of young dragon to be fed by the other dragons, and that one day, it happened that he was unable to get out of the volcano. The beast had struck, growled, burnt; the mountain had kept her captive. And since her superiority on the rest of the group was already established, a cruel system of servitude started.

At the beginning, the dragons were able to deal with it, they could fish, hunt, and everything else, but soon the Queen was demanding more and more food, and the dragons were forced to fetch some where it was already gathered, ready to be consumed. And one day, hundreds of years ago, the dragons organized regular raids to the only village of the entire archipelago. Berk.

This balance remained for several centuries, despite all the attempts of the Vikings who, instead of simply leaving the island, persisted in staying there and trying to drive the dragons away. "We were here first!" they would say, but that clearly wasn't true. Just because the dragons hadn't been attacking didn't mean they weren't there. But try and drag a Viking away from his native land.

And one day, while the dragons were doing their usual food delivery, the Red Death – yes, the huge dragon had a name – noticed something unusual. Actually, she had smelt it even before the dragons had got inside her den. A strange smell, she would sometimes find on the food she was receiving, but never as strong as at that moment. A human smell.

Two young people, two Vikings, who had managed she-didn't-know-how to ride a Night Fury. Who had led them here. The Red Death had first been delighted, thinking about a new kind of snack. The smell wasn't that unpleasant, so maybe the viking would prove to be a better meat than sheep or yak. But the Fury hadn't given her her food. He had kept hidden behind the rocks, and had escaped when she had tried to catch her prey. The event had held her attention during a few days, then things had become normal again, and the animal hadn't thought about that little incident anymore.

But she hadn't forgotten. And when that day, hidden deep inside her mountain, dreaming about liberty, she smelt the first exhalations of human odor, she suspected that something unusual was going on. The odor was really strong; it was filling her nose and preventing her from smelling anything else. She waited, starting to be hungry. And they came. Tens of Vikings. On her island. No one had ever managed to find it, if the two young Vikings weren't taken into account. She heard voices, cries, she felt movement. And still this delicious smell.

And then, the vibrations. Suddenly. The whole mountain resounded into her dragon's ears, shaking her deep inside.

And she saw the light. Usually, she was always seeing it at the top, through the crater, but that time, it was way closer. The mountain was pierced.

She felt the air. Fresh air.

The air of freedom.

* * *

Hiccup, Toothless and Astrid had flown above the ocean at a phenomenal speed; the trip had lasted only a few hours while the Vikings had sailed for several days. The teenagers got in the mist cloud only a few minutes after the ships, and arrived at the island as fast.

"Let us down here, I prefer to go there alone for the moment." Hiccup told his dragon while they were flying around the volcano.

The boy had just seen the crowd of Vikings gathered together in front of the mountain, Stoick's figure standing out, and he couldn't help but feel his heart sink.

How would his father react? Had he thought his son wouldn't come back, or was he expecting him to return? Once again, Hiccup was afraid to fail, but he had to intervene now, before things get worse.

Toothless discreetly landed on a little pebble beach, far enough from the Vikings to not be noticed, and Hiccup immediately put a foot on the ground, followed by Astrid. He looked at the girl.

"As we said, Astrid," he told her, whispering despite the reasonable distance between them and the Vikings. "You stay here with Toothless while I try to talk to them. Then, when I come back, we fetch the Nadder. After…"

"We'll see, I know." the girl finished. "You can trust–"

Her speech was suddenly interrupted by a huge earthquake which seemed to come from the mountain. Instinctively, the teenagers came closer to each other, anxiously looking at the volcano. Some rocks were falling around them, and they had to move to avoid getting crushed by volcanic stones. Hiccup walked around the mountain and saw the catapults. He understood.

"I have to hurry; they've already started the attack, with the catapults." He told Astrid. "This is my last chance."

Then he started to run toward the crowd. But Astrid caught his hand and drew him toward her, then slightly kissed him on the lips. She let him go after a few seconds, and told him a smiling "Good luck!" Hiccup stared at her face, and then came back to reality when another rock fell right behind him. He turned around and resumed his running toward the Vikings, already thinking about what he would tell his dad.

Stoick didn't notice the cry right away in the middle of the racket of the rocks falling, still resounding around them. But gradually, as the echo was dropping, the voice got clearer.

"Dad! DAD!"

The chief sharply turned round. He had recognized the voice, but when he found himself right in front of his son, he was still surprised.

"Hiccup… What are you doing here?"

He looked around for the dragon – his son had obviously come here with him – but he couldn't see him anywhere.

"I came as soon as I found out," the Viking answered, out of breath, "to warn you."

Stoick immediately thought about Astrid. She had certainly told him what he intended to do. The chief didn't know anymore at whom he was angry; his stubborn son who seemed to be determined to disobey him once more, Astrid who was disappointing him more and more, or the dragons themselves who were the first cause of all their problems.

"Dad, you should have never taken the village here," Hiccup continued after he had got his breath back, "that's too dangerous, you're all going to die!"

Angry at his son, definitely, Stoick decided.

"You are talking to me about danger, after what you've done with the dragons!" he retorted.

"Yes, and that's what I have to tell you, they don't attack for nothing, the reason of this war is here, on the island!"

"The only reason is them, and I'm going to send them running, fast."

Saying this, he had pulled his son away and was walking toward the mountain, holding his hammer.

"Dad, no!" Hiccup desperately tried to hold him back. "For once in your life, would you please just listen to me!"

He had almost shouted, holding his father's arm in an imploring gesture. But he pulled him aside violently, so much that Hiccup fell on the ground. The conversation weren't going how he had wanted it to at all. He had never intended to beg his father; he was a far cry from the long and convincing speech he had thought about, and his words seemed to hit his father without arousing in him any hint of reason.

As if he was confirming his thoughts, Stoick turned round and looked down on his son.

"You've thrown your lot in with them. You're not a Viking."

He paused. His look was harsh. Hiccup was waiting for him to finish, a lump in his throat.

"You're not my son."

Hiccup didn't answer. Stoick looked away, his bright eyes showing despite himself the pain he felt. He took a deep breath, and walked toward the mountain. Behind him, the villagers kept quiet, not knowing how they were supposed to react. Hiccup stood up, trying to keep the little dignity he had left, and walked away, going through the crowd without seeing it. At least now it was perfectly clear, he thought. He had been sensing it for a little while already, that his father definitely didn't want him to be his son anymore, but hearing him say it had hurt him. Yet he had to pull himself together. It certainly wasn't the moment to wallow in self-pity. And anyway, he didn't consider himself a Viking anymore. And not Stoick's son either.

He ran away from the crowd and catch up with Astrid and Toothless behind the mountain, holding back tears threatening to overflow.

Amongst the Vikings, no one dared to make any comment; only Gobber came closer to Stoick to comfort him, but he refused his help by a contemptuous hand movement, and the blacksmith didn't insist.

"Light the straw!" The chief curtly ordered, and the villagers obeyed.

Then, holding his hammer, Stoick moved forward to the biggest hole pierced in the mountain, trying to forget the scene which had just occurred, to concentrate on the fight coming. He looked at the darkness, and then ordered to throw the lighted straw ball in the hole. The fire sphere flew above his head and lighted to the whole cavity, revealing hundreds of dragons gathered together inside it. Stoick waited a few seconds, and then rushed, shouting in determination, to get inside the mountain. The villagers followed him with the same enthusiasm, immediately forgetting about the father-son talk, called by their thirst for fight. Right after, the dragons flew up to the exit, without paying attention at all to the Vikings moving under them, trying to hit them with their axes and hammers. Hordes of reptiles fled toward the misty sky, gladly leaving those thoughtless human beings with the danger waiting for them.

"Is that it?" Gobber thought out loud, a bit disappointed.

He shrugged while Stoick was going out of the cavity, thinking the same.

"We've done it!" the blacksmith shouted to the villagers who answered him, cheering.

But not far away, on the chief's ship, a certain Deadly Nadder knew this wasn't over at all. The dragon was getting more and more nervous, feeling the danger coming closer and being unable to flee. She looked at her congeners flying away, moaning in fear, wondering if those stupid Vikings would let her go one day. She swore she wouldn't hurt them, she just wanted to leave. But no one was paying attention to her.

Except the chief, maybe, who had noticed her nervousness and deduced that…

"This isn't over! Form your ranks, hold together!

* * *

Freedom was calling her. More than three centuries she had spent locked up in this hole. They had come to free her. They had hit the mountain, made it less strong, they had cracked its walls. She could go out. So, the Red Death growled. Loud. Howled. Pushed on her massive hind legs. Knocked the side of the mountain. Struck.

It was today. She was going to get out of there.

Finally.

* * *

**_Reviews? :)_**


	19. Victims

**XIX. Victims**

Astrid observed Hiccup running away, staring at him until she lost sight. Then she stepped back, sighing, and stood next to Toothless who affectionately rubbed his head against her. She answered by mechanically stroking his neck, looking around her. From where she was, she couldn't see the crowd of Vikings, but she could still make out some of their ships along the shore.

She thought about her parents, lost somewhere in the middle of the villagers, and felt like carrying them away from all this. But she had better stay hidden for the moment, Stoick must already be angry enough at his son; she didn't want to make it worse. She knew very well he would consider her as responsible for bringing Hiccup here, for helping him disrupt his plans once more.

She thought about Toothless, sitting next to her, and wondered how he really lived all that was happening. Was he feeling things the same way as humans? Was he really understanding, or was he only referring to Hiccup's feelings?

She thought about when the boy had taught her to ride a dragon. About the glint she had seen in his eyes when he had explained to her the basic handlings. At that time, she had been paying more attention to the excitement she could read in his gaze and hear in his voice than to what he was telling her. He had seemed so proud to be able to teach her something. He had immediately made her want to try, with her Nadder.

Her Nadder! She shouldn't be far from here; the Vikings had probably left her on a ship. Except maybe they had freed her? Or…

No. They couldn't have killed her. Astrid refused to think about it, despite the plausibility of this hypothesis. To try to reassure herself, she looked around for her along the row of ships she could see. But the mist was blurring her eyesight, and although she thought she saw movement on one of the ships, she couldn't determine where it was coming from. Even if, deep inside her, she was convincing herself that it was her Deadly Nadder, over there, who had felt her presence, and who was moving, impatiently waiting for her to free her.

_I'm coming, girl, I'm coming_, she thought. _Hold on._

Hiccup was already coming back. He was running toward Astrid, and the girl immediately thought that if he was coming back so soon, it meant things hadn't happened the way he had hoped they would. And the gaze he gave her confirmed those suppositions.

"So?" she asked, even so.

"He doesn't listen."

It looked like Hiccup wanted to add something, but the words stayed stuck in his throat. His chin trembled. Astrid wanted to hug him to comfort him, but he nicely refused, holding back his tears. He couldn't break down now. He shook his head and got on his dragon, and then held out his hand to Astrid.

"Come on, we'll fetch your dragon."

The girl nodded, hesitating a few seconds to ask him what had happened with Stoick, but she renounced. She sat behind the boy, and Toothless flew up.

At the same time, the Vikings were moving about down there. The teenagers simultaneously gave a look at the mountain, and saw a horde of dragons coming out from the volcano, flying toward the sky without paying attention to the villagers. Hiccup felt his Night Fury becoming nervous, his movements got more abrupt and he seemed to be tempted to join his congeners and flee. And Hiccup thought that, indeed, if all the dragons were leaving that way, at the same time, it wasn't a good sign at all.

He heard cries again under him.

"She's there! Hiccup, I can see her!"

Astrid had just shouted into his ears, moving behind him and showing a ship right under them. His eyes quickly looked around without seeing anything, and then blue glints caught his attention. The Deadly Nadder was right there, securely tied up, struggling. When she saw them, she stretched her neck toward them. Toothless flew down, and Astrid jumped on the ship even before they landed.

"Do what you have to do, I'll manage by myself." She told Hiccup.

"You're sure? That'll be okay?"

Astrid nodded. Hiccup hesitated, and finally decided to leave. He could trust her.

* * *

The ground cracked under Stoick's feet. A huge draft came from the inside of the volcano. With a frightening grunt. The mountain trembled. Rocks started to fall.

All this wasn't normal. The chief first thought of a volcanic eruption. But something seemed to be moving inside the mountain collapsing. The Viking stepped back. He had to go. And fast.

"Get clear!" Stoick shouted.

The villagers cried in fear and obeyed. A huge head of what seemed to be a dragon came out of the mountain.

"Beard of Thor!" Gobber exclaimed. "What is THAT?"

The beast got out of her hole, moving over tons of rocks and stones which fell not far from the villagers. The panic was creeping over everyone, the Vikings forgetting for once their courage and their pride, to concentrate on their survival. And they were running away. The problem was, when you were on an island like that one, the possibilities of escape were really limited.

* * *

The sun. Even through the thick mist, the sunlight dazzled the Red Death. It almost hurt. Humans were moving around her feet. They were running all over the place, giving off their smell and their screams stimulating the Queen's senses. They couldn't calm down a bit? The dragon was annoyed by so much moving at once. She looked around for her servants. There wasn't any one nearby. They all seemed to have flown away. They didn't have the right to leave her; she would make them pay for it. Oh? No, only one seemed to have stayed. She could smell him. And also… she could feel his fear. His respect. As far as the beast remembered, she had never felt anything else in any dragon. She looked around for him. A Nadder, apparently. But he wasn't there because he had chosen it. He was attached, and seemed to want to flee too. Like his congeners, who had left her.

Suddenly, she saw huge rocks flying toward her. It looked like they were coming from those weird machines controlled by the humans. She didn't know it that was supposed to hurt her or something, but in any case, it was really bothering her. She took a few steps forward, and closed her jaws on one of the catapults. The wood had a disgusting taste on her tongue. She growled. The humans were still running. That was enough. The Queen gathered all the gas she could keep in her throat – and Thor knew that was a lot, in such a big dragon – and lit it, sweeping the surroundings with this huge flame spurt.

* * *

Astrid was vainly trying to break the Nadder's harness when she felt it. A powerful and boiling blow which burnt her back.

_This is it, the dragon's awake_. she thought.

She hunched and waited. The darkness behind her eyelids got red. Her dragon moaned. And when she stood up and opened her eyes, everything around her was only fire. It was hot. Too hot.

And her Nadder was still not freed.

Thinking about the back side of the harness, in which she hadn't been interested yet, Astrid walked around her dragon and tried to unlock the chains holding her tail. She looked for something sharp, or heavy, anything which could have helped her, when she heard a crack, in addition to the incessant crackles of the fire. She turned her head, but it was already too late. The main mast of the ship broke off under its own weight, half carbonized by the flames. Astrid screamed and jumped aside. She managed to avoid being squashed, but she couldn't prevent the burning wood from touching her. The mast fell on her right shoulder – hopefully protected by her metal pad – and slipped along her arm when she tried to withdraw.

Astrid let out a cry of pain. She felt like she was having her skin being torn. The heat was unbearable, and even if the direct contact didn't last more than a few seconds, her whole arm seemed to continued burning. Her eyes filled with tears, and mixed with the sweat beading on her skin. This hurt. This was too hot.

And her Nadder was still not freed.

But if she stayed even one more minute, she knew the wound on her arm would seem minor in comparison with what she would suffer. The panic grew inside her. She didn't know what to do at all.

"Astrid!"

She sharply turned back. But she couldn't see who the person was that was coming to help her, because at the very moment she put her foot in front of her, the ship's floor broke off.

* * *

Stoick was observing the scene, horrified. He wasn't even paying attention to the bottom of his coat slowly burning. The beast had lit everything. Behind him, the ships were burning. In front of him, the catapults were burning. Around him, the Vikings were burning.

And it was all his fault.

"Lead the men to the far side of the island!" he shouted, hoping this would save the majority of them.

He had to distract the dragon, give him something to attack while the villagers were gathering together in a safe place. He had barely started to look for something to catch his attention, when a certain Night Fury acted before him, flew right at the beast, and struck. The huge dragon lost his balance for a few seconds, which was enough for Hiccup to strike a second, then a third time.

_What the hell is he doing?_ Stoick wondered. _He's making him even angrier!_

And indeed, the dragon stood up, growling, and breathed fire one more time. This convinced Stoick. He ran behind the last villagers fleeing toward the back of the volcano, leaving Hiccup with a danger he couldn't control by himself anyway.

While he was running, he felt the fire on his back, and took the pain without slowing down. Beside him, other Vikings were doing the same, leaving their burning clothes while running. Some of them were wounded, and Stoick could read on their face a pain they weren't even trying to hide. On his left, a man was holding his arm, and the blood flowing out of it was in a way too much to be a superficial wound. On his right, a woman had half of her face burnt, her skin covered with red blisters.

And far behind him, in the middle of the flames, another man was struggling, his leg jammed under a heap of rocks, preventing him from running away. He tried to scream for help, but only managed to choke because of the smoke and the dust. No one heard him. No one saw him.

And no one saved him.

This man didn't know it when he breathed his last, but he was the first to die in this disaster.

* * *

Never in his entire life had Gobber been so sure that the only way was fleeing. The Vikings principles weren't even taken into account anymore; survival was the only thing that mattered.

_Hiccup was right_, he thought.

He felt the burning of the flames which licked his coat, and immediately got rid of it and continued running. Even if he knew perfectly well that running wouldn't lead him anywhere else than finding himself on the shore, unable to go further than that. Not a single ship had survived the flames, they were all burning more or less quickly, and the only parts which weren't carbonized ended up swallowed by the dark water of the ocean.

_Hiccup was right._

For a moment, in front this burning scene, Gobber thought about the Deadly Nadder. For a moment, he felt a bit guilty he had let him die like that, attached to a ship.

And then he saw it. Right in front of him, a piece of wood fell, revealing a young blond girl desperately shaking the dragon's harness.

"Astrid!" he shouted.

She turned back, and the last thing Gobber could read in her eyes was a glint of hope. Right after, the ship's floor broke off.


	20. It ends today

**XX. It ends today**

Gobber had never been very good at swimming, especially since he had lost his hand and foot. But when Astrid had fallen into the water while trying to release the Deadly Nadder, and when the blacksmith had understood she wouldn't resurface till the dragon was free, he hadn't taken any time to think. He had dived.

The flames raging above the surface were making a flush of red lighting the bottom of the water, enough to allow him to see where he was going, despite the pieces of wood regularly falling inside it.

A few meters in front of him, Astrid was pulling the Nadder's chains, being carried to the bottom of the water because of the weight of the structure keeping him captive. Gobber saw her get done with the first rope, and felt a slight relief inside him. Which he immediately forgot when he noticed that the girl wasn't moving anymore. He wanted to catch up with her, but he realized – too late – that the air was missing in his lungs. He unintentionally breathed in, swallowed water, panicked, and got his head out of the water in the nick of time, spitting and coughing. The tears were filling in his eyes, water was flowing out of his nose, and he had a horrible taste of salt on his tongue. He tried to calm down and coughed to spit the water from his hurting throat, aware that he absolutely had to dive again. Then he took a deep breath, and prayed to the gods to have time to catch Astrid before lacking air again.

His eyes were atrociously smarting, but he had to keep them open. He swam toward Astrid – well, moved in the water, his helter-skelter movements couldn't really be qualified as swimming – and caught her by her clothes and carried her to the surface. A few seconds later, he got out of the ocean, and put the unconscious body of the girl on a rock. Her left arm was in a poor state – a mix of blisters, wounds and scratches more or less serious – and her face also had a few burns on it, but superficial ones, hopefully. The blacksmith thought about a way to get all the water she had probably swallowed out of her, and gave a punch in the girl's thorax. He didn't know at all if it was too hard, or not enough, nor if he had hit her on the right point, but it seemed to work, since the young girl immediately spat out a spray of water, and coughed. Reassured, Gobber sat down next to her and helped her to sat up, putting a hand in her back.

"I-na-er." Astrid hardly articulated between two hiccups.

"What?"

"Mmmy… a-er!" She repeated.

"Astrid, I don't understand anything…"

"Nn… NAD-DER!" she shouted.

The Nadder! For gods' sake, he had forgotten about him!

"Oh! He… I'm going!" Gobber exclaimed before he dived again.

He swam toward the dragon and noticed that, strangely, the animal seemed to be conscious. Could he actually breath under water? But it wasn't really the moment to question such things, and the Vikings decided to investigate that later.

He perfectly knew the Deadly Nadder's harness – he had made it himself – and in less than a few seconds, the dragon was free. He used his wings to get to the surface, catching the Viking on his way. The two emerged from the sea, under the relieved look of an Astrid who hadn't totally recovered from her drowning yet.

The dragon left Gobber on the beach, and came closer to Astrid, showing his joy by licking her face. The blacksmith observed the scene, pensive.

He had never thought a dragon could get such attached to a person. At that moment, the animal seemed totally harmless, and Gobber managed to understand how Astrid might be feeling. And how Hiccup himself might had been feeling too.

The Deadly Nadder turned his head to him, and the look he gave him made Gobber think he was right. Indeed, he could swear he read gratitude in his eyes. He had received those silent thanks, wondering if he would have still saved the Nadder even if Astrid hadn't fallen with him. He had thought about it, he had felt a bit guilty, but he wasn't sure it would have been enough for him to decide. No.

The Nadder's thanks should go to Astrid, not to him. But it didn't really matter. He understood now.

"Gobber?" Astrid shyly called.

Her voice was husky. She cleared her throat. The blacksmith moved closer.

"Thank you."

He smiled, not finding anything to answer. Her thanks were the simplest ones, but the happiness he could see in the girl's eyes meant everything.

Helped by her dragon, Astrid stood up. The pain was seizing her body. She couldn't even make out the difference between the pain due to the physical effort and the pain coming from possible wounds. Even breathing hurt, both because of the smoke and dust, and the salt water she had swallowed. She coughed, but it only made it worse.

Gobber came and supported her on the other side.

"Come on, we'll join the others, over there." He said, showing the side of the mountain with his head.

Astrid quietly nodded. She didn't want to go there. She didn't want to leave Hiccup alone, now she had found back her dragon and could help him. She had what she could call a plan; she thought she would free the Nadder, and then immediately go to fight the Queen, with Hiccup. When he had almost ordered her to "stay in a safe place, whatever happens", she had nodded, knowing perfectly well that if she really wanted to help him, she shouldn't tell him. But right now, considering her state, she knew she couldn't be strong enough anymore. She was feeling very guilty, because she knew she was the only one able to help him. But she also knew that in her state – and her dragon's too, who wasn't feeling the best either – she wasn't sure at all she could still call that help. Hiccup already had his own life and his dragon's to save, she didn't want to make it worse.

That was why, when she saw them flying above her, she only gave Hiccup a little gesture and a smile which meant "everything's all right, don't worry about me and go fight the dragon". The boy smiled back, and the second after they had already disappeared behind the clouds, followed by the Queen.

Astrid sighed. Now, all she had to do was trust them. And hope.

So, the Viking started to limp again toward the villagers, helped by both her Nadder and Gobber. An abnormal pain was running along her leg; it wasn't preventing her from walking but several times, it almost made her fall. As for the blacksmith, he seemed to be on form despite some burns, but it didn't surprise Astrid. He was a warrior. A true one. One like she had dreamt to become when she was younger, if the gender wasn't taken into account. But now, she didn't know anymore, how she wanted to be. The figure of the intrepid and dragon-killing Viking had been modified by Hiccup; she could forget everything about her evolution plans. Even if she supposed that her abilities in fighting and her quick reactions would be useful one day, sometimes she felt a bit lost. So many years spent working on one single objective which wasn't making any more sense today…

"Gobber! You all right!"

Stoick had caught up with his friend the moment he had recognized his figure. The two men briefly hugged, only half relieved to know the other was fine since they both knew how resistant they were.

Astrid walked away discreetly with her Nadder, and sat behind a pile of rocks. She was avoiding Stoick. She was avoiding everybody. Plus, the fact that the villagers hadn't admitted yet the idea of taming dragons had come back into her mind, and she wasn't sure about their reaction toward the Deadly Nadder. Even after such a fight, she wouldn't have been surprised if they were still angry at the dragons. She didn't want to take the risk anyway.

She still gave a quick look at the crowd – most Vikings had collapsed on the ground or against the rocks – and searched for her parents. They didn't know she was there. And it was better that way. But she was worried about them. She quickly observed the crowd, but didn't find the faces she wanted to see.

_They may be a bit further_, she forced herself to think.

But she couldn't help but looking on the other side, toward the desolate landscape of the beach. She looked around for something she didn't want to see. And that she didn't see. She let out a false sigh of relief. She could only pray for them to be safe now.

* * *

"Where has Astrid gone?" Stoick asked. "She was right there and…"

Gobber looked around him. He hadn't even heard her going away.

"She's fine." he simply answered, and the chief didn't ask for the details.

Stoick didn't want to see her either. He wasn't mad at her. No. He was mad at himself. Because he had just understood, and he wasn't feeling ready at all to face her anger, the most legitimate one.

"Any wounded persons?" Gobber asked, and he immediately reproached himself for the stupid question.

Stoick didn't even answer, he just showed the crowd. The most lucky ones, like Gobber and Stoick, had only a few burns. The other ones… They would recover. With a limb or an eye missing sometimes, but they would recover. They were used to it.

"You know, Stoick, I think that…"

"This is all my fault. I know."

Gobber's silence sounded like an accusation, which was weighing a lot more on the chief's shoulders than if they had been told by anyone else.

"I wanted to be a good chief." he continued. "I wanted to send the dragons running, I thought we could do this. If I had known…"

"We all make mistakes."

This sentence resounded with a kind of sympathy which surprised Stoick.

"And I think the biggest mistake you've made isn't bringing the village here, but not listening to your son."

"That's the same thing." the chief retorted.

"No, there's an important difference." Gobber insisted. "The village will recover. Look at them, they're safe and sound, barely more affected than after an ordinary dragons attack at the village."

He paused, so Stoick could see he was telling the truth.

"They all volunteered, when you asked them to go. We were all behind you, that's been our only aim since we were born, killing dragons."

He might not be wrong, the chief thought. The villagers didn't seem to be angry at him; they were considering this incident as a part of their Viking life. Maybe they would even be proud to tell this story to their grand-children.

"But about your son, that's different. He won't get out of this unhurt."

That was true. The real problem was here. Hiccup had never been a real Viking, Stoick had always known it. He wasn't taking things the same way as others; he was more sensitive, more vulnerable. But this particularity qualified as a weakness by Vikings had finally been his strength. He had managed to see where the real problem was. He had managed to see further than the principles the others were simply following. He had understood the real nature of the dragons.

But he hadn't managed to get himself heard. Well, the Vikings hadn't listened to him. Stoick especially. And now, his son was paying the price of it.

The chief suddenly realized how far this had gone. He had made everything wrong. He thought his son was putting his own life at risk by wanting to tame the dragons, and that was why he had tried to prevent him from doing this. But he shouldn't have done that; he had put Hiccup in a way more dangerous situation.

And the worst thing about this was that it wasn't the first time.

He collapsed on the ground and held his head in his hands. The blacksmith sat beside him.

"You think he'll forgive me one day?" Stoick asked, though he wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer.

"For that, he should first come out of this alive."

Stoick felt he had been hit right in his heart. Gobber had intentionally put words on this fear he refused to admit.

After this, none of the men spoke anymore. They just kept sitting there, way too preoccupied by Hiccup's fate to worry about anything else.

* * *

I was wheeling around in the air, thinking about a way to kill the big dragon. The Vikings panicking were running around him, and it seemed to really annoy him. I had to do something. But my experience in dragon fighting had never taught me how to kill such a beast. What could be his weak spot? He obviously had one. I remembered what Gobber had said one day, about the tail and the wings, which you had to target first since it was what allowed them to fly away.

"_A downed dragon is a dead dragon."_

But in this case, I wasn't sure it was the best solution. Indeed, the beast was so big that it was destroying everything, intentionally and unintentionally, and prevent it from flying certainly wouldn't make things up. I rather had to keep it away from the villagers, and for that I had to make it fly.

I was interrupted in my thoughts when I saw the dragon breathing a fire which lit everything on its way, until the ships, though they were quite far from it.

The ships. The Nadder.

Astrid.

I wanted to make sure she was fine. Then I saw Gobber, running toward the sea to avoid ending up carbonized. My father, who was moving around down there. And all the other villagers running to the back of the mountain, hoping to be in a safe place. But from where I was, I knew better than anyone that the beast only had to turn back and see them to charge. They weren't safe anywhere. Unless I managed to keep the dragon away from them.

I made my decision. I couldn't help everybody, so I would try to overpower the danger at its source.

To drag the dragon in the air, I first had to catch his attention. I told my Night Fury to fly down, right at the beast. When we were close enough, Toothless struck. Then we flew up in front of the dragon, so that he could clearly see what had attacked him. He tottered a few seconds, unbalanced and surprised, and then looked at us in a menacing way. Toothless attacked him a second time. Then a third one. The dragon was getting angry. It was working.

But not exactly the way I had expected it. He breathed fire with anger, everywhere around him. I regretted I had made things worse, and decided to directly go with the second step of my plan.

I lead Toothless in front of the dragon. I couldn't help but look down though, where the ships were. I saw Astrid with her dragon and Gobber. They didn't seem to be wounded. Astrid gave him a gesture and a smile. "Everything's fine", she seemed to be saying. I smiled back. I knew where to find the energy I needed now.

I went back to flying. Toothless and I gained altitude, rushing toward the mist. I waited. And turned back. The dragon had followed us. So we continued our rush into the middle of the huge cloud. Still further. Still higher.

I was scared. But I also knew that whatever would happen, I wouldn't regret what I was about to do. I knew I wouldn't die in vain. Yes, I was being realistic; I was risking my life. And my dragon's too. But I knew it was what I had to do.

I felt the threat coming closer behind us. I didn't know yet how I would manage to kill this thing, but I'd find a way. And all this would finally be over.

Yes. No matter how this ended, it ended today.


	21. Rebirth for most of him

_**Hi everyone! :D**_

_**Thanks to faisyah865, Geranika, winer123, Tegan' , Bwphorse and HeiMao.3 for their reviews, and also to everyone who followed/favorited/read.**_

_**I'm sorry for those who are waiting for the battle, cause I kinda didn't describe it, I mean it stopped at the beginning in the last chapter, and now it starts with the end. So I didn't put many details, cause I'm not really good at writing action, it gets boring I think, it's way better in a movie, so... Yep, I hope you weren't waiting for a huge and epic fight Toothless VS Red Death. Anyway, I hope you'll like that chapter, please leave a review to tell me what you think :)**_

* * *

**XXI. Rebirth… for most of him**

The sky, where was the sky? Everything around me was only smoke and flames. I felt the blast of the explosion in my back, I felt the heat of the fire behind me, I felt them chasing me.

The beast had died. That was sure. Even a dragon as big as this one couldn't survive such a fall.

I had done it.

But I wasn't out of trouble yet.

Fly up. We absolutely had to fly up. Toothless was flapping his wings with all his strength, but I was afraid this wouldn't be enough. We were going alongside the monster's body way too closely. My left foot was tensed in the pedal, and I was feeling the control I had on it lessening more and more. I tried to adjust it. And what I was afraid of happened.

I turned back my head, panicking, and indeed, I saw the metal frame of the prosthetic tail falling in the clouds of flames right under us. I looked in front of me, hoping to miraculously see a way to get us out of here. But the only thing I saw was the huge tail of the Queen, and its extremity full of spines dangerously coming closer to me.

"No…" I said for myself.

Toothless vainly tried to turn, but didn't manage to.

"NO!" I screamed one last time before the tail struck me.

Pain. Heat. Fear.

And then nothing else.

* * *

"Hiccup!" Stoick yelled, lost in the middle of a cloud of dust and ashes.

He turned his head, looked on his left, his right, but didn't see anything.

"Hiccup!" he shouted again. "Son!"

The cloud started to slowly disperse. A shy ray of sunshine piercing through it was lighting an indeterminable dark form, lying between the rocks.

"Hiccup." Stoick whispered, going toward the Night Fury.

He couldn't help running, despite the smoke and ashes bothering his breathing. He arrived next to the dragon. The animal was breathing. He wasn't feeling the best, but he was alive, and he didn't seem to be physically wounded.

Stoick looked at him, his broken harness, and then his tail. Some bent metal shafts were everything which remained from his prosthesis. The despair definitely overcame him when he understood what had happened. He fell onto his knees.

"Son… I did this…"

He looked down. The tears were coming. He didn't feel like trying to hold them back.

Behind him, the Vikings walked forward, understanding it was finished. Even the dragons joined them. They were all sharing the same sorrow.

No more difference. No more war.

That was what Hiccup had wanted since the beginning. He had got what he had wished for.

But at what cost?

The Night Fury moaned and lifted up his head. Stoick met his gaze.

"Son… I'm so sorry…"

The dragon blinked. That was what he wanted to hear. So, slowly, he opened his wings, revealing a small body he had tried to protect while they were falling.

"Hiccup!"

Stoick rushed toward the dragon and caught his son's body, desperately looking for any sign of life. He took off his helmet and put his ear on his chest. Waited.

And heard. Beatings. Weak, but present.

"He's alive… You brought him back alive!"

That time, the tears really flowed. Tears of relief. The Vikings cried in joy, approved by the dragons. Stoick was feeling a huge pressure leaving his shoulders. He held this little body against him, enjoying its presence and its life.

He remembered the first time he had held him, the same way, right after his birth. This so small and so fragile body he had immediately felt the need to protect. He had put so many hopes in this innocent baby who had survived… But quickly, he had found himself obliged to forget them as his son was growing up, showing more and more that he didn't want to follow his fate.

He should have been more careful. He should have seen the signs. Stoick promised himself he would never ignore his son again. He would listen to every single thing he was telling him, even the most banal one. He would care about him. And give him what he really needed. Because after all, he didn't know if he had correctly brought him up. How could you know the person you were looking after wasn't short of anything if you weren't even _listening_ to him?

He had never been interested in anything Hiccup wanted to show him; new objects or weird machines he had invented with or without Gobber. But he had ignored him. And at the end, his son had ended up not even trying to show him anymore. He had started to do things behind his back.

And he had finally established between them a distance Stoick was afraid was final. He had thought that he knew him well. That he was more or less controlling him. But he was wondering if that had actually ever been the case.

However, now he was holding him between his arms again, he swore he wouldn't make the same mistakes a third time. He could put new hopes into him. Hopes of changes. He was afraid it would be too late, but he had to try to patch things up with him. To apologize. To explain.

He needed to listen to his heartbeats, to make sure he would stay with him. Stoick promised himself he would never make his son want to leave again.

The chief wiped away a tear and put his hand on the Night Fury's head. He tried to show him through his gaze he was really grateful, though he didn't know If the dragon would understand.

"Thank you, for saving my son." He said.

"Well, you know… most of him."

Stoick turned his head. Gobber was standing next to him. The chief looked at his son's wounds, which he hadn't paid attention to until now, focused on the relief to find him alive.

Several gashes on his arms and his face. Burns too. But nothing really bad. However, it was for the legs it was getting worse. Well, one leg especially. The left one. That one Gobber was certainly referring to.

His worry was overcoming him again. After all, Hiccup might not get out of this that easy. The bottom of his pants soaked with blood and folded up on the space where his foot should have been were proving it.

"_Well, you know… most of him."_

Yes. Most of him. That was already a good thing, but for the moment, Stoick was really worried about the part which wasn't included in the "most". His hands trembling, he laid Hiccup's body down on the ground, and asked a villager to give him his fur coat to put his son's head on it. Then, as delicately as possible, he rolled up the pants.

Tried not to retch.

Breathed as calmly as possible.

And finally faced the piece of bone mixed with exposed flesh at the bottom of his leg. Yes, he was used to such wounds – he had seen way worse ones – but the fact that it was his son's was changing everything. He stared at the wound.

_His foot, where's his foot?_

Stoick felt a bit stupid looking around him, as if he would suddenly see the limb on the ground, nicely waiting for its owner. He didn't know what to do. It was really bad looking. A drop of blood fell on the ground. Lost, Stoick caught the first piece of cloth he found and wrapped the rest of his leg in it. The cloth wasn't really clean, but he had to avoid the blood flowing. He clumsily fastened the thing with a little rope. This would work. Toothless came closer, moaning, and sniffed at the wound. Stoick kindly pushed him aside. He preferred to avoid the animal touching him until he had been treated. The Night Fury didn't insist, but stayed next to his friend, sadly looking at him.

Yes, sadly. If he hadn't been a dragon, Stoick could have said he was crying. His gaze even had something imploring. Sorrow.

Apology.

And the blood left on the animal's lips set Stoick thinking.

* * *

He only wanted to save him. He didn't want to lose him. Without him, he wasn't anything anymore. What was a dragon who couldn't fly? No better than a human who couldn't walk.

Couldn't walk.

Walk.

He still remembered the flames, everywhere around them. He knew well everything about fire. He knew a human couldn't survive it. Not when it was as important as that one had been.

But dragons could. Hopefully, their scaled skin and their cold blood made them resistant to any kind of heat.

So he had caught him. He had grabbed his legs with his jaw. Then he had withdrawn on him, surrounding him with his wings. He hadn't been able to cushion the fall. But he had firmly held him between his feet. He had protected him from burning. He had saved him.

He had tried.

He didn't think he had bitten so hard. He only wanted to catch him. Prevent him from falling into the flames. He had been obliged to bite. Otherwise his body would have slipped, only his shoe would have stayed between his teeth. He had tried to control his strength. Stick his fangs into his flesh, but not too much. Sufficiently to allow him to hold him, but not enough to hurt him. Well, that was what he had thought.

He didn't even know what he had done with his foot. Everything was blurred in his mind. Perhaps he had simply dropped it, and it had been burnt. He hoped he hadn't swallowed it, instinctively or something. The idea was disgusting him. He couldn't bear having a part of him inside himself. He would go crazy; he would regurgitate it, anything to allow him to have it back. He didn't want to be the one to deprive him of walking. He had allowed him to fly again, so he couldn't take back from him what he had himself given to him.

But it was too late.

It was done.

Hiccup was laying there, one of his legs abnormally shorter than the other.

And that was because of him.


End file.
